Archive of Our Own ^beta

Wednesday: *calmly sips her arsenic coffee*

Enid: *stomps down the stairs* WHAT THE HELL?!

Wednesday: Is there something amiss, mi lobita?

Enid: Oh, something missed, alright—missed my freaking NECK!

Wednesday: Do elaborate.

Enid: I just tried to wake our daughter up for her first day of Pre-K, when a goddamn BLADE dropped from the ceiling! I barely dodged in time!

Wednesday: *fills with pride* So she’s built her first guillotine.

Enid: She built a— HOW? Shelley is FOUR!

Wednesday: And an Addams.

Enid:

Enid: *palms her face* Ohmygod. My daughter is Home Alone meets Saw.

Wednesday: If you’re proud now, just wait until she stages her first violent coup.

Enid: Her first what now?

*muffled gunfire*

Shelley: *from upstairs* ¡Viva la revolución!

Wednesday: *excitedly* Already? I must contact Mother and Father. They will be over the moon.

Enid: *watches her wife hurry out of the room*

Enid:

Enid:

Bianca: Has anyone seen Scario & Lesbuigi? They weren’t at the New Year’s Eve bash.

Agnes: Wednesday and Enid were still asleep when I last snuck in. They were obviously exhausted from kissing until 6 in the morning.

Bianca: *eyeroll* Sucking face since midnight. Why am I not surprised?

Agnes: *scoffs* Since 5 in the morning, not midnight.

Bianca: Wait, what? So just for an hour?

Agnes: No, they were making out since 5 in the morning yesterday.

Bianca:

Bianca: WHY?

Agnes: Because that’s when the first official New Year’s celebration happened, on Christmas Island. Try to keep up.

Bianca: 🤨

Bianca: 🤔

Bianca: 🤦

Bianca: Jesus Christ— Let me guess, the last place on Earth to celebrate the New Year did it at 6 a.m. our time?

Agnes: Obviously. That would be the U.S. territory of American Samoa.

Bianca:

Bianca: *aggrieved sigh* Leave it to those two queer overachievers to have a 25-hour New Year’s kiss.

Enid: *blearily* Honey, sweetie, light of my heart, it’s 7 in the morning. Mommy is still sleepy.

Shelley: *with zero sympathy* But I’M not sleepy! It’s morning time, not sleepy time! Morning time!

Enid: Shelley—

Shelley: MORNING TIME MORNING TIME M—

Enid: OKAY, WE’RE—

Enid: 😤

Enid: 😖

Enid: 😮‍💨

Enid: *sweetly* Okay, we’re up.

Shelley: YAY! *races for downstairs* Morning time! Morning tiiiiiime!

Wednesday: *watches Enid scream into her pillow*

Enid: Ohmygod, I’m SO tired. This is freaking torture.

Wednesday: Torture? Please, this is little more than, to put it appropriately, child’s play.

Enid: 🙄

Shelley: *from downstairs* Mother! Come watch Paw Patrol with me!

Wednesday: *stiffens with dread*

Enid: You were saying?

Shelley: Mother! MOTHER! PAW PATROL! PAW PATROL PAW PATROL PAW PATROL PAW PATROL PAW PATROL PAW PATROL PAW PATROL PAW PATROL PAW PATROL PAW PA—

Enid/Wednesday: 😏🫩

Enid: Hey, babe? Have you been feeling more queer than usual?

Wednesday: How do you mean?

Enid: Do you feel like more… performative, I guess? It’s weird. It’s like some kind of malevolent outside force driven purely by greed is lighting a big gay fire under my girl-kissing ass.

Wednesday: Is the phenomena in any way associated with finding Bruno’s corpse buried beneath a pile of scowling red faces and assorted disembodied hands frozen in a thumbs down position?

Enid: Maybe? I dunno, but I suddenly wanna get dressed in up some totally cute outfits, except you wear white and I wear black.

Wednesday: Are you also possessed of a strange desire to take disgustingly endearing photos together using a camera with no capacity for focusing?

Enid: *fans herself* Oh baby, you can bet your pet pup on it! LET’S DO IT!

Wednesday: As you wish, my precious cutie patootie.

– Elsewhere. –

Netflix’s Instagram: *cackles in capitalism*

Enid: C’mon, babe. We have to get your eye looked at before you lose it.

Wednesday: My eye can wait. Ensuring this elder vampire does not arise again is more important.

Enid: For reals? Wednesday, you removed all the dude’s teeth, force-fed him a whole crapola of sacramental garlic bread, holy waterboarded him for over an hour—

Enid: —impaled his heart with 13 stakes carved from a blessed aspen tree by an immortal outcast who helped found Christianity—

Enid: —and then chopped his head off and freaking SET HIM ON FIRE.

Wednesday: 😒

Was a vampire: 🔥💀🔥

Enid: 😤

Enid: Is this just because you wanna look like Caitlyn Kiramman?

Wednesday:

Wednesday: No.

Enid: *air jails Wednesday* Off we go, Cupcake. You can wear an eyepatch without losing an eye.

Wednesday: *pouts in fangirl*

During a meeting between Wednesday and another undead pilgrim the reawakened immortal pioneer, Samuel Cleftbrick.

Cleftbrick: Forsooth! Are you truly willing to make war over that irksome flibbertigibbet?

Wednesday: *glances back at Enid*

Enid: *on her phone, cackling to herself as she writes the latest chapter of her smutty HUNTRX poly slash fic*

Wednesday:

Cleftbrick: What say you, Witch of Nevermore?

Wednesday: *turns back with a glare* Enid may very well be an irksome flibbertigibbet, but she is MY irksome flibbertigibbet, so I say…

Wednesday: *raises her blade* LET THERE BE WAR!

Cleftbrick/Wednesday: 〰️🧙‍♂️     🤺💨

Enid: 🤪🤳

Shortly after Bianca drives away a crowd of Wednesday’s fangirls.

Wednesday: Openly using your Siren Song on your inferiors? I’m impressed.

Bianca: *smug grin* Guess again, Addams.

Wednesday: *studies Bianca through narrowed eyes*

Wednesday:

Wednesday: *frowns, sniffs the air, and stiffens*

Wednesday: Seriously, Barclay? A surströmming and hákarl sandwich?

Bianca: What can I say? A girl’s gotta treat herself.

Wednesday: *wrinkles her nose* And they call me a sadistic psychopath.

Enid and every other nearby fur: *violently dry heaving*

Wednesday: Enid has been behaving oddly. Her touches linger longer than usual. She studies me like a specimen, only to fluster at being caught.

Wednesday: Her presence has become a shadow, rarely gone and never for long. When others draw too near in the halls, she shields me with an arm.

Wednesday: Stranger yet, she has taken to stealing and wearing my clothes, to the point that not a single top is free of her cloying scent.

Wednesday: All in all, she is being quite… weird. Do you have any insight, Barclay?

Bianca: *gawking*

Bianca: Addams, she’s queer. The word you’re looking for is QUEER.

Wednesday: Are you dense? I require answers, not synonyms.

Bianca: 🤦

Bianca: Well, if it isn’t the effervescent Princess Unicorn. I’m honored to be in presence of such majesty.

Enid: 😳❗️

Wednesday: Your respect is warranted. My wolf is without a doubt majestic.

Bianca: *smirks* I wasn’t talking about Enid.

Enid: 🙅‍♀️‼️

Wednesday: Excuse me?

Bianca: *mockingly* Pardon my rudeness, Your Highness. Please don’t shoot me with your big scary gun.

Enid: 🤦‍♀️

Wednesday: *eyes narrow* You’re treading on thin ice, Bianca.

Bianca: *just laughs and walks off*

Enid: 😬💦

Wednesday: Enid, do you perchance know the cause for Bianca’s odd behavior?

Enid:

Wednesday: Enid? I asked— *turns*

Enid: *already shrinking into the distance*

Wednesday: 🤨❓

– Cue undocumented body swap flashback. –

Bianca: Jesus Christ! You both just committed aggravated assault. We’ve gotta get out of here before the cops show up.

Enid: *offended* Excuse me? Wednesday was aggravated.

Wednesday: True.

Enid: I, on the other hand, am the living embodiment of fun and freedom—

Wednesday: Also true.

Enid: —even when beating the ever-loving shit out of an abusive buttmunch.

Wednesday: My wolf puts the “laughter” in “attempted manslaughter”.

Bianca: Wait, don’t you faint at the sight of blood?

Enid: Eh. You get used to it when you’re dating Itty-Bitty Báthory here.

Wednesday: I highly doubt any of that blood was virginal. Also, the accusations leveled against the Countess were likely apocryphal, spurred by the machinations of her political enemies.

Enid: Really? My bad, then. How about Itty-Bitty Abattoir?

Wednesday: 🤔

Wednesday: Acceptable.

Enid: Perf!

Bianca: Cops.

Enid: Cops? What kind of pet name is that?

Bianca: *already running* IT’S THE COPS, YOU LOVESTRUCK DUMBASSES!

Wednesday/Enid: 😒😒

🏃🏿       🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️💨                🚓 🚓 🚓

The following Incorrect Quote GIF comic (from Wednesday S2E8, This Means Woe) is unrelated to the story above.

Isadora’s derpy dark secret.

Ajax: *cheers* Wooooo! Nevermore 4evermore!

Wednesday: No. Nevermore Forever Gore.

Ajax: Huh?

Bianca: Excuse me?

Wednesday: Do you recall Jimbo Mengele, our foe from winter break?

Bianca: You mean that half-baked immortal clone of the infamous Nazi physician, Josef Mengele? Super racist dumbshit who wouldn’t stop regenerating?

Wednsday: That’s the nitwit.

Bianca: What about him?

Enid: *races up* Okay, babe! The wood chipper is all hooked up atop Iago Tower and Pugsley is just waiting for your signal.

Wednesday: *turns* Thank you, Enid. Will you be heading into town now?

Enid: Yup, because freaking ew. Have fun, babe! Bye, y’all!

Enid: *kisses Wednesday and scampers off*

Ajax/Bianca: 👋😗 🤨

Wednesday: *turns back* Now, as I said, Nevermore…

Wednesday: ✋😑

Wednesday: ✊😑

Wednesday: …Forever Gore.

*distant whir of machinery starting*

Ajax/Bianca: *look up in unison*

*whirring noise morphs into wet grinding as the sky turns mysteriously red*

Wednesday: 😈

Bianca/Ajax: 😱😱

Enid: Now that we’ve finally watched Miller’s Girl, how’d you like it?

Wednesday: Calling it tripe would be a discourtesy to offal.

Enid: Okay, harsh, but what about like, um… that scene?

Wednesday: Which scene?

Enid: *nervously* You know, the kiss.

Wednesday: You mean the lubricious scene where my so-called doppelgänger plundered her best friend’s mouth with her tongue—

Wednesday: —like a cannibal scraping out the last morsel from their victim’s cranial cavity?

Enid:

Enid: Yes.

Wednesday: Meh.

Enid: Meh? MEH? How could you POSSIBLY—

Wednesday: I could do it better.

Enid: —call it mmwhat?

Wednesday: Do you perhaps require a demonstration?

Enid:

Enid: Ye… y-ye…

Enid: *short circuits*

Enid:

Enid:

Enid:

Bianca: Enid? Hey, are you feeling okay?

Enid: *snaps to* Huh?! Wh-What happened?

Bianca: I’m not sure, but you’ve been staring into space for the last 15 minutes.

Enid: WHAT? What about Wednesday? Where’s Wednesday?! DID WE KISS?!?

Bianca: Uh. No, but she stormed off in a huff like 10 minutes ago.

Enid:

Pugsley: How about rat-infested sewers?

Gomez: Or a derelict graveyard with only tombstones as witness?

Morticia: Perhaps the deepest, darkest part of the forest, where even spirits fear to venture?

Uncle Fester: Under the floorboards!

Wednesday: 😑

Bianca: 🤔

Bianca: Disposing of a body?

Wednesday: Dating advice.

Bianca: 😬

Bianca: *slides her gaze to Uncle Fester*

Uncle Fester: What? Crawlspaces are romantic!

Bianca: *look of blatant skepticism*

Pugsley: You never know what you’ll find!

Gomez: Room enough only to cuddle.

Morticia: It just screams The Tell-Tale Heart.

Bianca: *mutters* More like John Wayne Gacy.

Uncle Fester: SEE? You get it! Ro-man-tic!

Bianca: 😨

Wednesday: Don’t worry, that won’t be an option for my date with Enid.

Bianca: Because crawlspaces are a goddamn insane idea for a date?

Wednesday: Because they’re already occupied.

Bianca:

Wednesday: Tanaka, what is Enid’s favorite insufferable South Korean pop music group?

Yoko: Uh. Whatcha gonna do, kidnap them for her birthday?

Wednesday:

Wednesday:

Wednesday: No.

– Approximately 17 hours later. –

Rumi: Wait, wait. What IS that?

In a world where they didn’t skip the tape, Enid returns to her room to find Wednesday laying down even more tape.

Enid: What the heck, Wednesday? How are we supposed to live with THAT much tape on the floor?

Wednesday: Calm yourself. The rule is that we may not cross the tape. Think of it as neutral territory.

Enid: *incredulous* Like 20th century Sweden?

Wednesday: Like 20th century Sweden.

Enid: *groans in frustration*

Enid: What the crap are we going to do with 5 feet of neutral ground right in the middle of the room?

Wednesday: 6.5 feet, or 78 inches.

Enid:

Enid: Weird. Isn’t that just over the width of two standard-issue twin beds—

Wednesday: —or a single king? Yes, it is. What an unfortunate coincidence.

Enid: *glances back at her bed, to Wednesday’s bed, then to the wide band of tape on the floor*

Enid/Wednesday: *share a look*

– Moments later. –

Enid/Wednesday: ☺️🫸🛏️        🛏️🫷😑

In the future, Wednesday sits with Enid’s traumatized brother while her wife tucks their toddler into bed.

Wednesday: I trust that in spite of tonight’s incident, you will still be able to babysit Shelley next weekend?

Enid’s brother: *stares in disbelief* Are you insane? She drugged me.

Wednesday: Please, it was only a sedative.

Enid’s brother: *sputters* Only a sedative? I woke up wolfed out—

Wednesday: Mostly a sedative.

Enid’s brother: —with my niece trying to CRAWL down my THROAT!

Wednesday: Naturally.

Enid’s brother:

Wednesday: Shelley recently developed a keen interest in the werewolf digestive system, and we always encourage any such youthful curiosity.

Enid’s brother:

Enid’s brother: I NEARLY ATE HER!!

Wednesday: *sharply* Lower your voice. Shelley is already well aware of her failure. There is no need to rub it in.

Wednesday: —with two D’s. Like padded room.

Bianca: First of all, padded room has three D’s. Second, Enid Sinclair only has one D.

Enid: Not after we’re married!

Bianca: OhmyGOD! Enid Addams would ALSO HAVE THREE D’s!

Yoko: *pops in* Yeah! Three o’ DEEZ NUTS!

Everyone else: 😑🫢🤨

Bianca: You seriously came back to Nevermore just for that?

Yoko: 😎👉👉

Ms. Capri: I’m sorry to say this, but your parents aren’t able to make it.

Agnes: What do you mean, Ms. Capri?

Ms. Capri: 🤨❓

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!”

Ms. Capri: 😒

Enid: Why the heck did you take Agnes to the execution of a freaking serial killer?!

Wednesday: Because my father did the same for me, when I was younger than she is now.

Enid: What?

Wednesday: That event taught me to always consider the consequences of one’s actions, while at the same time strengthening the familial bond between us.

Enid: Oh. Well, I guess that’s not so—

Wednesday: Which, as I just learned, is the natural byproduct of sneaking back out of a maximum security prison on high alert.

Enid: WHAT?!

Wednesday: If it’s any consolation, our detection was not the result of a mistake on Agnes’ part. My father didn’t deny my request for a trophy, so how could I deny hers?

Enid:

Enid: ‼️😱‼️

Ms. Capri: 🫢

Ms. Capri: *warily glances back at Agnes*

Agnes: *wearing a necklace of bloody teeth* 🥰

Bianca: Okay, Enid. What’s the emergency?

Alpha wolf Enid: *whines pitifully* Erf!

Bianca: *incredulous* What do you mean you misplaced Wednesday? She’s your mate, not an object.

Alpha wolf Enid: *ashamedly gestures with her snout*

Bianca: *looks past the werewolf and into the room to stare at…*

Where once was a room is now a preposterously massive amalgamation of plushies, what appears to be Ophelia Hall’s entire supply of spare bedding, and the dichromatic wardrobes of two very different individuals.

Bianca: 😐

Bianca: 😑

Bianca: 😐

Bianca: You’re nesting, aren’t you?

Alpha wolf Enid: *embarrassed nod*

Bianca: And, being our lovably ADHD space cadet, you locked in, zoned out, and have zero memory of how you made this happen.

Alpha wolf Enid: *even more embarrassed nod*

Bianca: 🤦

Alpha wolf Enid: 🥺

Bianca: *deep sigh* Right. I’ll gather the Nightshades and we’ll help find your girl.

Alpha wolf Enid: 🥹

– At that moment, wedged amongst several quilts and a pocket of unwashed laundry like a grimdark Tetris block. –

Wednesday: *unsurprisingly enjoying another experience of being buried alive* 😴

The following Incorrect Quote GIF comic is unrelated to the story above.

Bianca: *disbelief* What do you mean Wednesday leaves the toilet seat up? Does she stand to pee?

Enid: No, that would be silly.

Bianca: Then why the heck w—

Wednesday: I hang from the ceiling.

Bianca:

Enid: Like a bat!

Bianca:

Bianca: W H Y ?

Wednesday: For the challenge.

Enid: And practice.

Bianca:

Bianca: Excuse me?

Wednesday/Enid: 😈😇

In the Headmaster’s office.

Principal Dort: *reading his horoscope* Beware of malevolent precipitation from the middle of the week—

Principal Dort: —and avoid uncovered beverage containers.

Principal Dort: 🤨❓

Principal Dort:

Enid: I said I’m fine.

Wednesday: Enid, you are a werewolf. A natural predator, gifted with supernatural strength and what should be equally supernatural senses.

Enid: My senses ARE supernatural.

Wednesday: Then how is it possible that you never once detected Agnes’ presence?

Enid: Uh. Because she’s super sneaky?

Wednesday: My uncle, the same one who defines a jet engine as “easy listening” and has more than once introduced sharp instruments into both eardrums, heard her.

Enid: I was distracted!

Wednesday: You were not. I have traced this degradation of your senses back to the arrival of the Tell-Tale Café to our school—

Wednesday: —and your quite frankly alarming intake of increasing quantities of steak sauce in your furrachinos.

Enid: Wh-What are you trying to say?

Wednesday: Enid, the steak sauce is having a negative impact on your body, and I believe you are addicted to it.

Enid: 😧

Enid: 😐

Enid: 😒

Wednesday: Enid. Don’t you dare run a— Enid! ENID! GET BACK HERE!

Enid: *definitely running* YOU’RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!

Enid: Can you two please just stop arguing?

Wednesday: I’m not the clumsy giraffe who stumbled and let the demon get away.

Mira: Look here, you brat. It’s not my fault you’re the size of a speed bump.

Wednesday: Call me a brat again and the only dance you’ll be leading will be at the bottom of the lake.

Mira: At least I can dance! I saw a recording of your moves. It was less choreography and more chore-UGH-raphy.

Enid: *mutters to herself* They’re so much alike, she said. They’ll get along great, she said. Hah. Zoey owes me BIG for this.

Enid: Hey, Wends. Have you seen Ajax? We’re supposed to have a serious talk, but I can’t find him anywhere.

Wednesday: From what I understand, the gorgon is currently indisposed.

Enid: Indisposed? Indisposed with what?

Wednesday: A period of deep self-reflection.

Enid: Deep?

Wednesday: Indeed. One could say he is taking the opportunity to truly face his inner demons.

Enid: 😒

Enid: Wednesday, did you trap Ajax in another hall of mirrors?

Wednesday: Why would you suspect that?

Enid: 😠👉

Wednesday: *glances down at Ajax’s beanie peeking out from her coat pocket*

Enid: 🤨

Wednesday: In my defense, I only told him his reflection might be hiding donuts. Checking under said reflection’s beanie was his own idea.

Enid: 🤦‍♀️

Wednesday: It is only a legal requirement, and besides, I’ve always preferred to drive people—

Enid: 🤨

Wednesday: —insane.

Enid: 🙄

Enid: Uh huh. Babe, you can just tell me if you’re banned from getting your driver’s license.

Wednesday: Those so-called driving instructors are spineless cowards incapable of appreciating a perfectly executed drift into a J-turn.

Wednesday: What do you mean they get sucked into them?

Enid: You know, when the Poké Ball pops open, turns the Pokémon into energy, and sucks them inside.

Wednesday:

Wednesday: So they aren’t poured in?

Enid: Of course not! Babe, how come you don’t know this? It looks like you’ve captured a bunch.

Wednesday: *glances down at her bag full of Poké Balls*

Wednesday:

Wednesday: I’ll be right back.

Enid: Okie-dokie!

Wednesday: *heads for the nearest dumpster*

Enid: 😙

Enid: 😗❓

Enid: 🫢⁉️

Enid: Wait, what did she mean by poured? WEDNESDAY, WHAT DID YOU—

Enid: Hey, Wends! Did you hear about the time they heard strange noises coming from Beethoven’s grave?

Wednesday: No, I have not. Was it his risen ghost?

Enid: Nope! It turns out he was just decomposing.

Wednesday: *blank stare*

Enid: 🤗

Enid: 😐

Enid: 🤨

Enid: Really? Nothing??

Wednesday: 😑

Enid: Dangit! I thought for sure you’d like that one. *pouts and walks away*

Wednesday: 😑

Wednesday: 😒

Wednesday:

Wednesday: I am fully prepared to make any sacrifice required to return Enid to her human form.

Bianca: Is that why you have Tyler and Bruno chained up, gagged, and sedated in the back of an unmarked van?

Wednesday: Let’s just say they volunteered.

Bianca: *scoffs* More like they were voluntold.

Wednesday: *scoffs right back* Incorrect. They can’t be told anything without their ears.

Bianca:

Bianca: Excuse me? What do you mean by—

Wolf Enid: *trots cheerily past*

Wednesday/Bianca: 😏 🫢

Bianca: *stares after the wolf and her very human ears*

Bianca: J-Jesus. I… I can’t believe— I just— I… I…

Wednesday: A fine suggestion. I’ll sacrifice those next.

Wednesday: *produces an ominously serrated grapefruit spoon, turns on her heels, and heads straight for the unmarked van*

Bianca:

Enid: I feel so warm and fuzzy.

Wednesday: And I feel as cold as a cadaver.

Enid: Which means I’m me— *clasps Wednesday’s hands* —and you’re you!

Wednesday: *glances down at the hands holding her own*

Enid: *does not let go*

Enid: You know, I think I’m maybe… a little too warm right now.

Wednesday: And I find myself perhaps colder than I’d prefer.

Enid/Wednesday: *share a intensely meaningful look*

– Moments later. –

Spirit Weems: *materializes nearby* Wednesday, the premonition of Enid’s imminent death is no mOHGOD!

Enid/Wednesday: *aggressively making out*

Spirit Weems: Are you bloody serious!? In the CEMETERY?!

“Oh hush, you hypocrite.”

Spirit Weems: *turns in alarm to see—*

Ghost of Rosaline Rotwood: 🤨

Ghost of Rosaline Rotwood: I seem to recall you and Hester’s daughter doing something quite similar in this very spot.

Spirit Weems: 😳

Spirit Weems: *promptly vanishes*

Ghost of Rosaline Rotwood: *smirks in satisfaction, turns to gaze approvingly at the amorous pair, and fades away*

Enid/Wednesday: 🩷👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🖤

The following Incorrect Quote GIF edit is unrelated to the story above.

After carelessly proclaiming herself to be the Omega to Enid’s Alpha, Wednesday begins to exhibit some peculiar behavioral shifts.

Enid: *stares sheepishly down at the much shorter Wednesday*

Wednesday: Enid, how is that you are now approximately one Weems tall?

Enid: I think I, uh… l evolved.

Wednesday: Evolved?

Enid: You know, like a Pokémon.

Wednesday:

Wednesday: *slowly reaches up, grabs a handful of unkempt blonde hair, and yanks down*

Enid: *finds herself face to face with an annoyed seer* Eep!

Wednesday: *through clenched teeth* If you must insist on equating yourself to one of those ludicrous creatures, then understand this.

Enid: Y-Yeah?

Wednesday: Enid, I. Choose. You.

Enid: *surprised Pikachu* Huh?!

Wednesday: *rolls her eyes and proceeds to kiss the Pikachu off Enid’s face*

Wednesday (in Enid’s body): And you need to stop trying so hard for people who don’t deserve it. Like Bruno, who mistook your kindness for weakness.

Wednesday: It’s not. It’s your power.

Wednesday: *thoughtful pause*

Wednesday: Which I could barely handle for one night.

Enid (in Wednesday’s body): You know, if you play your cards right, you can keep barely handling my “power”, every night.

Enid: *saucy wink spastic eye twitch*

Wednesday:

Wednesday: Is my body having a stroke?

Enid: *frustrated* No! I’m just trying to— *twitch-twitch* What the heck? Is this why you never wink?

Wednesday: *sharply* Enid, STOP trying to wink. NOW.

Enid: What? Why? Are you afraid of seeing your face emote? *twitch-twitch-TWITCH*

*wet plop*

Enid: *freezes, then slowly looks down with Wednesday’s remaining eye*

Wednesday’s other eye: *peers right back from the floor*

Wednesday: I tried to warn y— *slumps as Enid’s body faints*

Wednesday’s other eye: *waves a friendly pseudopod and abruptly slithers away*

Enid:

Enid:

Enid: WHAT THE F—