Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Heaven and Hell. Something many of us have pondered for centuries. Whether you be a human pondering if there even is an afterlife or if you’re already in the afterlife pondering if what you did when you were living was worth the afterlife you got. Perhaps you might be an Angel or Demon that already inhabits the afterlife, then you might be pondering your role in the existence you were born into. Together we will see how all these different people deal with-

Oh my god can you shut up? How boring can you be with this melodramatic entrance. Oh right hi this is Deadpool the more fun narrator. This story is going to be all about my beautiful romance with my dearly beloved wolvey. Oh and I guess some other gay fuckers. And a few less gay fuckers. Regardless get ready to strap in and strap on as I tell you how I got here. The author recommends you play Can’t Stop by Red Hot Chilli Peppers as you read this part of the story.

1 Month and 1 Week Until Extermination

You know how Deadpool and Wolverine ended. Or at least you should, I mean it's been out for quite and while. Regardless, it ended with everything being just great again. Until it wasn’t. Turns out there's more than one corrupt official in the TVA, and oh boy, were they upset by my meddling.

Deadpool and Wolverine were currently running away from some TVA agents.
“They just keep on coming!” Wolverine dismembered an agent that was in the way.

“You know, Wolvie, sometimes you say things like you think I’m the blind one. I live with someone who’s blind. Repeat after me, ‘My husband lives with someone who is blind, he is in fact not blind himself’.” Deadpool shot an agent and continued running to keep up with Wolverine.

“Would you shut up and help think of a way out of this?” Another several agents were decapitated

“Well, lucky for you, I got one of those multiverse time hopper things, so let's just hop over to another universe!” Deadpool used the tempad he had gotten. At some point. When did he get that? Anyways, he used it to open one of those doorway thingies to a nearby universe. “After you, M’lady.” Deadpool stopped and did a little curtsy as Wolverine ran into the portal, then quickly followed after him.

“Do you think we should save the orange juice for later or drink it now?” Viktor and Jakie were walking along a trail when suddenly a portal appeared behind them, and two costumed men came running out of it, being chased by what looked to almost be a SWAT team. The two immediately backed up, being ready to run to the side, only for them to have backed up right into another portal in what looked to be a busy street.

“What the fuck?” Viktor quickly grabbed Jakie’s arm so they wouldn’t be separated, and the two costumed men and the SWAT team also came from the portal and started to fight.

“Whoops! You guys aren’t supposed to be here! Don’t worry, random civilians, I’m sure you’re plot important, so you should probably follow us.” The man in the red costume said. Honestly, Viktor and Jakie were both too shocked to really protest with whatever the hell was happening.

The day probably couldn’t have gotten much worse. Crowley had just kissed Aziraphale in hopes he’d see why he couldn’t go to heaven and be the new Archangel, but that had gone poorly, and now he was storming out of the bookshop just to witness a strange portal opening and two humans running out. Then two weirdly dressed humans followed by what looked to be a human police force of some kind? However, maybe his assumption for the strangely dressed ones to be human was wrong, as one had claws? That they used to slice up the police, and the other was taking fatal hits and dancing it off? Then the one in a red costume stopped fighting and looked to him.

“Oh my god, is that David Tennant? Are we in Doctor Who? I love Doctor Who!” By this time, while Aziraphale was still angry with Crowley, he had noticed the spectacle on the street and couldn’t stand by as innocent cops were murdered by some cosplaying villain.

“What on earth is going on? Is this your doing?” Aziraphale was quick to accuse Crowley of anything that seemed bad.

“Not in the slightest.” Deadpool opened up another portal.

“Alright, all main characters through the portal, we need you for the plot! That's you two randos, the doctor who lookalike, the goody two-shoes, and my husband Wolvie.” Deadpool motioned for people to go into the portal. Viktor and Jakie hesitated, then took a step towards the portal before Aziraphale spoke up.

“Excuse me, that's not very nice! These poor people don’t have to go anywhere with you!” Azirphale waved his hand, probably intending to perform a miracle, but nothing happened.

“Oooh yeah, sorry that won’t work on me. See, I’m Marvel Jesus, so your magic doesn’t work on me. Now, either you go through the portal willingly or I’ll do you like Doctor Strange did Loki.”

“I don’t even know what half of that means!” Aziraphale had been through enough in one day, and this wasn’t helping.

“Well, we don’t have time for explanations, so get ready for a drop.” Deadpool opened several portals underneath all the “main characters,” then once they had all fallen through, he gracefully fell back into one as they were transported to the next universe.

This new universe was far worse than the last. A tinge of red over everything, and a horrible smell of rotting things and death.

“Where the hell are we?” Viktor was barely processing the first teleportation, and this was even less comprehensible.

“It's very Ironic you use that phrasing because we are in Hell. The big ol H. E. Double hockey sticks.”

“This can’t possibly be hell. I’d know I’ve been there many times. There's no cramped space or desks. This looks nothing like hell!” Crowley was only getting more frustrated the less things made sense.

“Oh no, no, this isn’t your hell. See, this is another universe's hell. It’s all very complicated and-” Multiple shots to the chest interrupted Deadpool. “That is so rude, I was talking, you wait to shoot me after I am done talking!” More bullets. It seems the group was spotted by some trigger-happy demons. “Well, if any of you guys die when shot, you should run.” Everyone got the hint and started running. Even Deadpool and Wolverine, who didn’t really need to, since bullets wouldn’t kill them? But Wolverine didn’t feel like sticking around, and Deadpool wasn’t going to let him get away that easily.

“Where are we even going?” Aziraphale had felt multiple bullets fly past him, and while he wouldn’t die, the paperwork for discorporation would be a nightmare. Especially since he had no idea how to explain any of this.

“We keep running until we conveniently run exactly into what will further the plot. I do this all the time.”

“It's better to just roll with it.” Wolverine was easily outpacing most of them.

“Aww, see Wolvie isn’t it great when we get along?” Deadpool cooed

“No, and I hate you.”

Eventually, the group ran until they conveniently reached what looked to be a Hotel of some sort. At least that's what the sign said.

“Hazbin Hotel?” Aziraphale read the sign out loud.

“Doesn’t matter what it's called, if it's somewhere safe, then we should hurry to get inside.” Crowley banged on the front door.

A woman wearing a charming red suit with a smile that could light up a room answered the door. “OhMyGosh Hello! Are you guys here to learn about how to be redeemed?”

“What the fuck?” Wolverine couldn’t help but be extremely taken aback by the greeting.

“Ehem, what my husband means to say is absolutely yes, now please let us inside the hotel.” The women smiled even more if that was possible, and practically bounced up and down as she let them inside.

“Stop referring to me as your husband, we’re not married, we’re not even in a relationship.” Wolverine barely even tolerated Deadpool, and even that was too much at times.

“Well, tell that to our marriage certificate.” Deadpool pulled out what looked to be an actual legal contract for marriage with both of their signatures.

“What the fuck? I never signed that!”

“The government won’t believe you,” Deadpool whispered before skipping away.

“Wait, where’s Jakie?” Viktor looked around. “I thought she was with us- Do any of you know when you last saw her?”

“Yes, the other human, I hadn’t seen her since someone dropped us all in here!” Aziraphale frowned at Deadpool.

“No, no, no, I need Jakie to be here. Everything is already too much. I need. I need to find.” Viktor felt overwhelmed. Everything was confusing, but the comfort was that Jakie was there too. Now that she was nowhere to be found, the world felt unstable.

“I’m sure she’ll turn up. Probably took a detour or something.” Crowley wasn’t sure how to feel. Just a few moments ago, things could never have been worse, and while things weren’t better, maybe there were silver linings? Can’t exactly go to heaven forever if you’re in another universe. Not that he felt like talking to Aziraphale right this moment.

“But people were shooting at us! She could be hurt or dead! I don’t want to deal with this alone.” Viktor's chest hurt. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. Luckily, before he could spiral further, the door burst open.

“Ayyy, not dead! Or at least not dead anymore-” It was Jakie, but now with a pair of white wings? Viktor rushed to hug her.

“What on earth happened?” Viktor poked one of Jakie's wings partly to show what he was referring to and partly because he was curious about the texture.

“Not sure. I think I got shot? Then I was in a beautiful glowy place except it had wayyy too many people and my social battery is already drained, so I came down here to find you cause I’d rather you do all the people interacting for me.”

“Well, I’m just glad you’re okay now.” Viktor let go, feeling much better knowing Jakie was here.

“I’m totally sure none of this is plot relevant,” Deadpool remarked sarcastically.

“I don’t mean to interrupt this touching scene, but um, did you just say you died? Like, as in the first time ever, as in you were a human?” The woman in the red dress looked extremely concerned.

“Uh, yeah. I figured most of us who came in are humans?” Jakie shrugged her shoulders.

“No, no, see David Tennant's lookalike is a demon, the goody two-shoes is an angel, I’m Marvel Jesus, and Wolvie is Wolvie. You two were the most human, but I guess it's just down to one.”

“You see, it is um. It's great to see that you lived a life that got you in heaven, even though you immediately ditched it to come back down here. But you see, humans aren’t supposed to be here? Like at all. So I should return you back to earth, but you’re friend does have to stay here cause she did die.”

“What! Absolute not-” Viktor started, but Deadpool interrupted.

“That's a bad idea. Firstly, he’s plot important. Secondly, he’s from another universe, so that wouldn’t be his earth, and that would be bad. So how about instead of marooning him, we just do this.” Deadpool suddenly somehow had a headband with little demon horns on it that he put on Viktor's head. “See, he fits in perfectly already.” The woman's face was uncertain as she wasn’t quite convinced. “Besides, are you really going to separate these two? They obviously have such a close friendship that people think they’re romantically involved even though they’re really not, but they’re just that close that people assume it anyways.”

“Alright, but just don’t tell anyone else. I could get into a lot of trouble if anyone found out.”

“Don’t worry, not many people will probably read this fanfic anyways, and if they do, it's not like they can tell anyone that matters.”

“Okay, well, are you guys interested in redemption? Does that even apply to you?”

“I think many of us could learn from your idea of redemption and this hotel, so if we could stay until we can figure out how to get home, that would be lovely.” Aziraphale particularly thought that Crowley could learn a thing or two from the idea of redemption.

“Hold onto that thought.” Wolverine turned to Deadpool with a murderous glare. “You brought us all here; you can put us all back.”

“Ah gee Wolvie, you know I love you and would normally do anything for you, but unfortunately I was shot multiple times and sooooo” Deadpool revealed the extremely damaged tempad. “No can do, buckaroo.”

“Why do you always fuck everything up?” The only thing keeping Wolverine from attempting to dismember Deadpool was because he didn’t want to further traumatize the people around him.

“Hey, you think I asked to be shot? Anyways, why don’t we let the conveniently quiet people because writing to many people talking at once is hard- introduce themselves.” Deadpool gestured to the women and all the other people who had already been at the hotel.

“Okay, yes, that is a great idea! My name is Charlie! Then this,” She pointed to a woman with long white hair and a red bow, “Is my girlfriend Vaggie. Over there behind the bar,” She pointed at the bar, “is our bartender, Husk, and sitting at the bar is Angeldust.” She then pointed over to the couch area, “And sitting there is Alastor and Sir Pentious, and running around here somewhere is Niffty.” Charlie then gestured to the group of six who had yet to properly introduce themselves.

“Oh, I’m Deadpool, but Pete calls me Wade, but Wolvie likes to call me ‘A waste of oxygen you useless fuck’ which used to hurt my feelings, but I know he means it in the best way.”

“Some people call me the Wolverine, but most people just call me Logan. I am also not married to Wade, no matter what lies he says.”

“I’m Azriaphale, a pleasure to meet you all.”

“I’m Crowley, and it's not a pleasure to meet you all.”

“I’m Viktor, and that's Jakie.”

“Now that we’ve all introduced ourselves, perhaps you’d like rooms to stay in, as it sounds like you all had a very eventful day.” While Charlie would have loved to see if the new people were interested in doing group activities, she would already sense the tension many of them had with each other.

“Yes, please me and Jakie need to socially decompress. Do you happen to have a Jack and Jill room set up we can occupy? We like our own spaces, but the ability for it to become shared if we’d like.” Viktor would have liked to stay closer to Jakie, but he was well aware of how introverted his best friend was and figured this was a perfect solution for her to have her own space while still not having her to far due to his anxiety from their recent separation.

“I’m sure we can set something up!” Charlie clapped her hands together

“Me and Wolvie only need one room with one bed because we are a happy couple.”

“Get me a room as far away from this fuck head as possible.” It was clear Wolverine and Deadpool had different ideas of where to go.

“I will see what can be done.” Charlie had no idea what was going on with those two.

“I’ll take a room that's closest to the bar. In fact, I’ll go to the bar now. I could use a drink.” Crowley wanted to just drown all his emotions in alcohol.

“You wouldn’t happen to have a room with books in it, would you?” Aziraphale did his best to ignore Crowley for the moment.

“Oh yeah, those are requests I can definitely fulfill. Alright, we will get you all sorted, then tomorrow we can talk more about your role at this hotel!”

Charlie got the new patrons settled into their new rooms. Everyone got what they requested, except Deadpool and Wolverine, who were also put into a Jack and Jill, as it was the only compromise Charlie could think of at the moment. It was time for everyone to rest for who could say what the next day would bring.

Chapter Text

1 Month and 6 Days Until Extermination

At first, when morning arrived, things were relatively peaceful. Charlie had gotten up early to plan the day's activities. Now that more people were staying at the hotel, it meant they could do larger group activities. That was until a scream was heard.

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM YOU USELESS WASTE OF SPACE,” Wolverine threw Deadpool out of his room.

“Did you know that married couples who sleep in the same bed can last longer! It's for our marriage, Wolverine! If you went to couples therapy, you’d know this!” Deadpool then whispers, “I actually made that up, my dear readers, as the author is too lazy to research if that's actually true.”

“FOR THE LAST TIME WE ARE NOT MARRIED.”

“See, this is why we need therapy! It really hurts my feelings when you say things like that.” Wolverine left his room only to then throw Deadpool down the stairs. When Deadpool landed on the ground, he then changed position to where he was lying in a “seductive pose” where his head was resting on his hand.

“If you wanted to throw me around, you could have at least gotten my consent first~” Wolverine flipped Deadpool off before going back to his room and slamming the door. However, all that commotion woke everyone else up.

“Is everyone alright? I heard a bunch of noise.” Azriaphale didn’t want anyone to get hurt. Well, maybe the one in the red suit who had gotten them all into this mess. Not that Azriaphale wanted actual harm to happen to him. Maybe just that his tea was always too cold when he’d go to drink it.

“Oh, um, no, I think everyone is alright? You’re alright, Mr Wade right?” Charlie still wasn’t sure what Wade was or if he was a demon or not, but he seemed fine.

“Oh yeah, just a lovers' spat. You know how marriage can be.” Deadpool stood up. “Anyways, what's for breakfast? Cause daddys hungry.” More and more people left their rooms and went down the stairs to either sit in the small lounge, at the bar, or stand around. This is when Deadpool, for the first time since he got there, took off his mask to get a drink at the bar.

“What the fuck happened to you?” Husk looked him up and down with an expression of mild disgust and maybe concern.

“Oh, it's a long story, but in order to become Marvel Jesus, I had to sacrifice my beauty. So now I’m stuck with this lovely mug. But don’t worry, Wolvie has gotten over it, and he’s not with me for my looks anyways.” Husk had basically started tuning him out. Why did he always have to deal with the talkers? Over at the lounge, Charlie, Vaggie, Sir Pentious, Azriaphale, Jakie, and Viktor were seated.

“Well, I mean, I still have some existential dread about being in literal hell, but I slept fine last night, so I guess things could be worse.” Viktor was eating a waffle.

“Well, I am glad you feel that way. While you don’t exactly need to be redeemed from hell, that doesn’t mean I can’t entice you to keep living a good life, so when you inevitably die. Not that I hope you die anytime soon. You can go to heaven! And not have to deal with being here at all. Except for now, but this is just an odd situation.” And Charlie was starting her morning with decaf.

“But we’ll make the most of it.” Vaggie patted Charlie's arm.

“You know, I think it's quite honorable what you’re trying to do here. Even though I’m unsure if that's how things work. But then again, I didn’t think there were multiple universes yesterday, so redemption for people who have already gone to hell sounds a lot more plausible.” Aziraphale had started his day with tea and a coffee cake.

“Well, I appreciate the enthusiasm!” Charlie moved her feet out of the way as a bug, followed by a stab, happy nifty ran by.

“I’m still confused about the story behind these new guests, but as long as they aren’t trying to kill me, I won’t try to kill them.” Pentious actually was beginning to like these guests. Especially when Azriaphale had made him hot chocolate this morning. Jakie turned to Viktor and handed him an empty mug she had drunk all the coffee from.

“Oh, sure, I can get you more.” Viktor stood up and went to get Jakie more coffee.

“Okay, I’ve been meaning to ask, how do you guys do that? Are you telepathic?” Being telepathic would not have been one of the crazier things they had told Charlie since their arrival.

“Oh no, he’s just really good at understanding Jakie language.” Jakie saying “Jakie language” like everyone would understand what that meant.

“Since when is there a language named Jakie language?” It had been a while since Sir Pentious had been alive, but surely a new language with such an odd name hadn’t been created in the time he had died? Viktor returned with more coffee and handed the mug to Jakie.

“It's not an actual language; it's more just that Jakie isn’t the most talkative person. While I love talking, her actions is how she communicates. So I’ve learned to understand what they mean. For example, she basically said, “Hey, bestie, can you get more coffee, please? I’m too comfy to move”.”

“You got all that from her holding out a mug?” Vaggie understood, to a level after all she had learned, what much of Charlie's body language meant, but that was a different level of communication. Most of the time, it was just easier to say the words at that point.

“I mean, he was 100% right. I just got all nice and comfy, and besides, he mentioned thinking about getting another waffle, so it was a two-in-one trip.” Jakie was, in fact, right as Viktor did, in fact, grab another waffle for himself.

“It's a shame telepathy is a useful skill to have.” Alastor, who had not previously been standing nearby but now was, had made his presence known.

“Friendship is just as useful as a skill, if not more valuable.” Azriaphale seemed to be talking about something else when he said that, but no one there had enough context to know what.

“Hmm, to each their own.” Alastor disappeared again.

“Well, this has been a delightful start to this morning, but-” Charlie stood up and called out. “Everyone, I have an announcement!” Most everyone gathered around except Alastor, Wolverine, and Crowley, who had not been seen since yesterday. “Well, with so many new people at the hotel, I thought what better way to spend today than by doing icebreakers to get to know everyone!” A groan was heard from some, but others looked excited.

“Oh, I do love a good icebreaker!” Azriphale clapped his hands together.

“Why do we have to do this? I mean, it's only like a few new people and some of them aren’t even down here.” Angel dust wasn’t sure how to feel about the new people. But the guy who had introduced himself as Wade didn’t seem half bad.

“Because we don’t want anyone to feel excluded! Besides, I think you all may have more in common than you think! Now, everyone get around in a circle and say your name and a fun fact about yourself!” Everyone got in a circle, though some more reluctantly than others. “Alright, now I’ll start us off! I’m Charlie, and I like koalas!” She gestured to Vaggie to go next.

“I’m Vaggie and I like Charlie.” Charlie aww’d at that comment.

“I’m Husk, and I think this is stupid.”

“Husk, that's not a fun fact about yourself!” Charlie tried to encourage him to do better.

“Ugh, I’m Husk and I run the bar.”

“You can call me Angel Dust, and I am a talented celebrity~, so if you need my services, know it's cash upfront and I charge extra for women.”

“I’m Niffty and I like stabbing bugs!” Niffty then ran off, presumably to go stab a bug.

“My name is Azriaphale and I enjoy reading books.”

“I’m Jakie and I love coffee.”

“I’m Viktor, and my favorite color is gunmetal blue.”

“Deadpool, aka Wade Wilson, and I’m deeply in love with my husband Wolvie.”

“I am Sir Pentious, a brilliant inventor, and I have many eggbois for henchmen.”

“Well, unfortunately, we have some people missing, but since we all said our names yesterday, I suppose we can get to know them later. But now onto our next icebreaker!” Charlie was super excited. “So next is this super fun activity I heard about where everyone puts their hands in the middle and randomly grabs someone else's hand, then we all have to work together to untangle ourselves!” Angel dust snickered.

“Wow, the last time I played this game I was at a party, and everybody was naked, so this will be a very different experience.” Charlie made a face at Deadpool's comment but didn’t address it.

“Now everyone's hands in the middle!”

“I have no idea why I agreed to his,” Husk grumbled. Everyone put their hands in the middle.

“Now grab someone's hand at random!” Charlie instructed, and everyone started to grab someone else's hand. Soon, it was a mesh of hands in the center.

“It's time for the best part! Let's all work together to get untangled!” At first, things went relatively well; someone only needed to duck under another person's arm or spin around to uncross themselves, but then it got more complicated.

“You’re stepping on my arm!” Husk growled

“Calm down fuzzball, I’m trying to step over your arm! It’d work better if you would cooperate more.” Deadpool nearly tripped stepping over.

“I am cooperating! And what the fuck is up with those two? They just grabbed each other's hands and made their own circle, so now they get to be done with this?”

“Jakie isn’t much of a physical touch person!” Viktor and Jakie were sitting on the couch, watching the chaos ensue.

“If we ever play this again, I’m grabbing one hand from both of you so I know you’re gonna be stuck doing this shit.” Angel dust was ducking under Pentious' arm while glaring at them.

“I think this game is rather fun.” Aziraphale had conveniently only had to do easy things to untangle those near him, so of course, he found it fun.

“Well, we’re almost done anyways if I could just-” Charlie tried stepping over Deadpool's arm just to trip, bringing down the whole circle. “Well, um, we almost had it so good enough!”

“I need a fucking drink.” Husk stood up and walked over to the bar.

“Me too.” Angel dust followed him.

“Well, we tried our best and that's what matters!” Sir Pentious went to sit down with Viktor and Jakie.

“I think that went mostly well, right?” Charlie often worried that her exercises might make things worse between guests sometimes.

“Of course, sweetie. I mean, we all learned new things about each other. Like Viktor and Jakie are pretty inseparable for friends, which means learning more about the two of them will tell you more about each one individually. And I think Wade and Angel seem to get along just fine.” Vaggie pointed out Deadpool, who was laughing with Angel Dust while Husk was rolling his eyes. “You’ve had the same people for months, so suddenly having so many new ones is going to change things a bit, and you’re doing great.” Vaggie took Charlie's hands in her own and smiled. Charlie smiled back.

“Thank you. Now I gotta figure out what appeals to the others who still haven’t come downstairs yet.” Ever so conveniently, Wolverine and Crowley had decided to leave their rooms. Both with the same goal of getting some alcohol. They chose opposite sides of the bar, not because they didn’t like each other, but because those were just the seats available.

“Give me whatever you have that can make you forget how much your life sucks.” Wolverine was not referring to getting stuck in hell, but more getting stuck in hell with Wade.

“Yeah, I’m sure I have something that fits the bill.” Husk handed Wolverine a drink that would be illegal to sell to someone on Earth.

“I’d also like a particularly strong drink.” Crowley was facing a similar dilemma. He was stuck here with Aziraphale, and while technically he could go off on his own, he thought, for his safety, he was better off here. Even if that meant being stuck with someone who had rejected you to take a job in heaven after he had seen just how corrupt it was, and now couldn’t even do that because they were stuck here.

Husk recognized the alcoholic that Wolverine was, but Crowley clearly had another reason for drinking that Husk was sure he’d eventually hear all about, whether he wanted to or not. Alcohol had that effect on people. He gave Crowley a drink that wasn’t nearly as poisonous as Wolverines, but definitely not for someone who can’t hold their liquor.

“Oh my goodness, hi you two! So glad you decided to get out of your rooms! You may remember me from yesterday, but just in case, I’m Charlie, and it's so nice to-”

“Look, no offense, but I’m not really in the mood to do anything but drink alcohol right now.” Crowley especially didn’t want to talk to someone who had such a zest for life. It was already a lot ignoring Aziraphale's presence from across the room.

“I get that you’ve probably not been having a good couple of days, but I think if you were around the others, that maybe the two of you would be having a better time.”

“I’d rather find a way to kill myself than spend time near Wade.” It was clear to Charlie that these two souls were having a rough time. They obviously could use some cheering up, and Charlie knew just thing thing.

“Alright, dear readers, this is the part where you start playing Fireworks by Katy Perry.” Deadpool isn’t anywhere near the scene we were just focusing on, but somehow he can just do stuff like that. Now on with the song!

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag ⭐
Drifting through the wind⭐
Wanting to start again?⭐
What the fuck-?🍻
Do you ever feel, feel so paper-thin⭐
Like a house of cards, one blow from caving in?⭐
Do you ever feel already buried deep?⭐
Six feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing⭐
Do you know that there's still a chance for you⭐
'Cause there's a spark in you?⭐
You just gotta ignite-⭐
What-🕶️
the light and let it shine⭐
Just own the night like the 4th of July⭐
'Cause, baby, you're a firework⭐
Come on, show 'em what you're worth⭐
Make 'em go, "Ah, ah, ah"⭐
As you shoot across the sky⭐
Baby, you're a firework⭐
(Actual fireworks start going off)
Come on, let your colors burst⭐
Make 'em go, "Ah, ah, ah"⭐
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe⭐
Charlie is this Necessary?-🃏
You don't have to feel like a wasted space⭐
You're original, cannot be replaced⭐
If you only knew what the future holds⭐
After a hurricane comes a rainbow⭐
(Cue a rainbow)
Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed⭐
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road⭐
Like a lightning bolt your heart will glow⭐
And when it's time you'll know⭐
You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine⭐
Just own the night like the 4th of July⭐
'Cause, baby, you're a firework⭐
Come on, show 'em what you're worth⭐
Make 'em go, "Ah, ah, ah"⭐
As you shoot across the sky⭐
Baby, you're a firework⭐
Come on, let your colors burst⭐
Make 'em go, "Ah, ah, ah"⭐
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe⭐
Boom, boom, boom⭐
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon⭐
It's always been inside of you, you, you⭐
And now it's time to let it through, -ough, -ough⭐
Charlie I think they get the point- 🕷️
'Cause, baby, you're a firework⭐
Come on, show 'em what you're worth⭐
Make 'em go, "Ah, ah, ah"⭐
As you shoot across the sky⭐
Baby, you're a firework⭐
Come on, let your colors burst⭐
Make 'em go, "Ah, ah, ah"⭐
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe⭐
Boom, boom, boom⭐
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon⭐
Boom, boom, boom⭐
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon⭐

Charlie ended the song and looked to Crowley and Wolverine expectantly. Surely this would let them know that even if they were having a bad day that they were still welcome here.

“Right, I think I’m going to keep drinking now.” Crowley wasn’t sure what to make of that musical number. Was that normal here, or was it just Charlie? Regardless, a musical number wasn’t going to fix the many issues he had.

Wolverine, on the other hand, just started straight up ignoring Charlie and was continuing to do so. Charlie was disheartened but felt a bit better when Deadpool gave a small clap and exclaimed, “Yay”. He obviously didn’t understand why Charlie just sang the song, but his enthusiasm was nice.

“It's alright babe, I’m sure they’ll warm up to things in time.” Vaggie patted Charlie's shoulder, and Charlie sighed.

“Yeah, but it took so long for the others, and we’re running out of time. The extermination is barely a month away and-”

“I’m sorry the what now?” Charlie now had Crowley's full attention.

“Oh, right, I guess I haven’t warned you guys yet. Well, there's this thing that happened every year, except this time they decided to do it after 6 months instead of a year, but anyways heaven sends down an exorcist army to kill a bunch of sinners and we are trying to stop it from happening, but it's a work in progress.”

“So you conveniently forgot to tell us that mass murder is regularly committed? Well, that's just great, isn’t it? Is there anything else we should know about this extermination?” Crowley figured if worst came to worst, they could defend themselves.

“Well, um, the angels can’t actually be killed, so it's an unkillable exorcist army. hehe” Charlie gave a nervous smile.

“Fucking what? You’re telling me here, Angels can’t die, and demons can? What sort of logic is that?” Did that mean Azriaphale was now unkillable, or did that just apply to the angels here? It’d be a lot less worrying if it meant Azriaphel was unkillable.

“It's just how it is, but we’re working on it, and we promise we will do our very best to keep you all safe while you stay here.”

“Well, it's not my first time having to band up with strangers against horrible odds. Plus, if they can find a way to kill me, they are fully allowed to try.” Wolverine may hate Deadpool, but some of these people here were basically children compared to him, and while he’d never admit it, he didn’t like the idea of said children facing war alone.

“I am not exactly indestructible, but I will do my best to help!” Viktor chimed in.

“Do not worry child, I will protect you because I have adopted you now, you adorable, naive thing.” Deadpool patted Viktor's head while Viktor just looked up at him, confused.

“Wade, leave the poor kid alone.” Wolverine didn’t want anyone else to have to deal with Deadpool's nonsense.

“You mean our kid? Our kid that I just adopted for the both of us since we are married?” Deadpool then looked to Viktor, then to Jakie, then back to Viktor. “Scratch that, our children. They’re like puppies; you don’t have the heart to separate them. Anyways, they’re our children now. I’m the dad, you’re the mom. I’m Dadpool now.” Neither Viktor nor Jakie felt the need to protest this strange occurrence.

“Okay, if you’re gonna force roles on us, at least acknowledge you are not the dad.” Deadpool covered Viktor's ears when Wolverine said that.

“Don’t let our son hear you say that! You’re tearing this family apart!” He then uncovered Viktor's ears. “Would you like a hot chocolate sweetie?”

“Uh, yes please.” I mean, who wouldn’t want free hot chocolate? Deadpool went off to get some hot chocolate for Viktor and Jakie, as he would never leave out one of his now adopted children. People went back to small talking or avoiding each other. Everyone was slowly getting to know each other better, but with the time on the clock ticking, relationships had to be treated with care. Some rivalries may need to be put aside, arguments resolved for the greater good, and new friendships will need to be forged for when the extermination arrives.

Chapter Text

1 Month Until Extermination
Waking up the next morning was odd for many residents of the hotel. This was because as soon as they entered the lobby they found a very panicked Charlie mumbling things under her breath while working on a board that looked like a doomsday planner.

“Should we be concerned?” Aziraphale didn’t know Charlie very long so he wasn’t quite sure if this was normal or something to be worried about.

“Probably but I have no idea how to help so I think we’re all just going to stand here until Vaggie wakes up.” Angel dust held out a cookie for Aziraphale to take which Azriaphale did take. For the record it was a sugar cookie and it was very tasty.

Jakie and Viktor were playing some sort of gambling game with Husk, Wolverine and Crowley at the bar where Viktor kept going all in regardless of whether his hand was good or not which often meant he lost and Jakie would have to lend him money to continue. While Crowley occasionally gave Jakie tips which allowed her to keep winning everytime.

“Uhh what's going on?” Vaggie had just come downstairs.

“I’m afraid its been like this since the rest of us got up. Poor thing is stressed out.” Sir Pentious was clearly hoping Vaggie could help Charlie.

“Charlie. Sweetie, are you okay?”

“Nope not really! Haha I’ve been up all night trying to figure out why the hotel isn’t working! We’ve done trust falls we’ve tried sharing out feelings. We only have a month left before the extermination!” Charlie laughed but it was a very stressed out laugh. “And at this rate.”

“Maybe its time-” Vaggie started

“No!” Charlie interrupted

“To ask-”

“Don’t say it!”

“Your dad.” Charlie groaned at this. “I know you don’t want to but we need every advantage we can get.”

“He let the extermination happen to begin with! They just had a meeting and said “Go ahead and kill everyone!”-” Charlie then gasped as she realized something “Wait thats it!”

“Kill everyone?”

“No- He could get me a meeting with heaven!”

“Didn’t we already try that?”

“Well yeah with Adam but he was an asshole. But he isn’t in charge of all of heaven! We could go to the top! Theres sure to be some angels that will listen.” Charlie then stepped aside to call her dad.

“Have you met her dad?” Jakie and Viktor had joined the group near the lounge and Viktor was curious what to expect from this king of hell he’d heard a bit about.

“No we hadn’t really gotten to that yet.” Vaggie knew Charlie had a bit of a rocky relationship with her dad and hadn’t felt any reason to push it.

“Well I hope he isn’t anything like my worlds Lucifer.” Aziraphale shuddered recalling the one encounter he had with Lucifer. If this Lucifer was anything like that they’d be in a world of trouble.

“I wouldn’t know since I don’t know your worlds Lucifier or this worlds Lucifier.” Vaggie sure hopped Charlies dad was a good person.

“I met Satan once.” When on earth did Deadpool get here. I did not introduce him to this scene.

Charlie returned from around the corner. “Okay so he said he would come here! So we need to get ready for when he does! Everyone I need your help decorating!” A lot of people looked to each other and shrugged and ultimately everyone did there best to figure out what to do.

“I’ve been meaning to ask. Whats up with you and Sunglassess indoors guy?” Deadpool was helping Aziraphale set up a table.

“Its a very long complicated story.”

“Did he kill the love of your life? Is he the love your life? Did he kill and then become the love of your life?” Deadpool had some very unhinged suggestions.

“No nothing of the sort! We just were friends for a very long time.” It was so much more complicated than that. Especially with how things had been left off.

“I still smell a love story.”

“It is not love! Angels and Demons don’t fall in love.”

“Wow isn’t that an ironic sentence for the fanfic we’re in.” If Deadpool could look into a camera that symbolized the audience he would.

“Fan what?”

“Don’t worry about it. Regardless if you two were friends for so long what happened?”

“Like I said its complicated.”

“I’m married to a man who refuses to admit he’s married to me so try me.”

“We. We had a nice thing going for centuries. A sort of arrangement that benefited us both. Then when the world was supposed to end we were on the same side in stopping it. After that heaven cut contact me and hell with him. Then there was that whole situation with Gabrielle and Beelzebub. And I got offered a position in heaven again. I wanted Crowley to come with me but. I guess I didn’t realize he wanted something different than I did.”

“You know when me and Wolvie fight we just talk it out.”

“Really?” Aziraphale had not once seen Deadpool and Wolverine talk it out.

“Yeah I mean we just really have a good heart to heart and I think thats what you need here. Just a long hard heart to heart.” Deadpool may be making a sex reference but he also has not done that with Wolverine either. Yet.

“Normally I’d agree but last time we talked things went. Poorly and he revealed something that I’m not sure we can move on from.”

“Well if you love each other than you make it work. Besides who doesn’t love a good romance between the ray of sunshine and one who thinks they’ll never love again.”

“We’re not in love!”

“Sure you aren’t!” Deadpool then walked away in a random direction. Not because he needed to but because he felt it made more of a statement for him to walk away at this point.

The setup for Lucifers arrival continued until everything was finally ready and now it was time for the king of hell himself to arrive.

“Okay everyone its showtime!” Charlie then opened the front door.

“Charlie!” There stood a much shorter than expected king of hell.

“Hey dad-” Lucifier hugged Charlie.

“It’s so good to see you!”

“It’s good to see you too dad.” Charlie pulled away from the hug. “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!” Some confetti cannons went off. Lucifer then got distracted by saying hello to the pets that Charlie kept at the hotel. Then he was done he looked around at the hotel and seemed less then impressed.

“Oh what in the unholy hell is that?”

“Just some of the renovations we had done.” Alastor who had been who knows where was now quite present in the welcoming committee. “Adds a bit of color don’t you think?”

“And you are?” Lucifiers reaction to Alastor made his earlier reaction of the hotel seem like admiration compared to how far less impressed he was with him.

“Pleasure to be meeting you sir.” Alastor did his shadow teleport thing and shook Lucifiers cane instead of his hand. “Quite a pleasure! Its nice to finally put a face to the name. You’re much shorter in real life.”

Alastor and Lucifer continued to. Banter? If banter was the thing done between two people who looked a few second away from stabbing each other.

“Were any of you expecting this to be Lucifer?” Viktor kept his voice low not really wanting to interrupt the argument.

“Not in the slightest.” Angel dust looked to Viktor and upon noticing the headband with horns with crooked fixed it for him.

“Honestly I’m quite relieved. He seems far more reasonable then my Lucifer.” Aziraphale waved his hand to refill Jakies coffee cup.

Charlie then stepped between Lucifer and Alastor obviously trying to break things up before a fight starts. “Okay okay Anyway- Dad look at this lovely parlor where people can get to know each other! And share secrets and stories and intimate feelings! Without Alastor we wouldn’t have been able to pretty it up this much!”

“Charlie has a very unique vision and I am happy to fulfill her bizarre requests!” Alastor placed a hang on Charlies shoulder which ticked Lucifer off. “Quite and impressive young lady! We’re all very proud of her.”

“Ehem Charlie dear whey don’t you introduce me to your OTHER friends.” Lucifer seemed fed up with Alastor.

“Oh yes of course!” Charlie then led Vaggie over. “This is Vaggie. She’s my girlfriend!”

“Oh my golly you like girls? So do I! We have so much in common! Put er there Maggie!” Lucifer then hugged “Maggie”.

“And this here is Sir Pentious, Angel Dust, Aziraphale, Viktor, and Jakie our guests.”

“Your Majesty!” Sir Pentious exclaimed before face planting on the table.

“Heya short king.” Angel dust flirty as always. Aziraphale simply waved while Jakie was to busy letting her arm be chewed on by Viktor and Viktor was to busy chewing on Jakies arm.

“Husk is our Bartender, Nifty is out housekeeper, and Crowley, wade, and Logan are just here.” As Charlie finished introducing everyone. Or at least the author hopes so because keeping track of everyone is hard. Nifty ran up to Lucifer and then ran up him.

“Hello, I clean.” Nifty then giggled in a way a child in a horror movie that you are 100% sure is not a normal child would. A loud crash was heard as the chandelier gave out and fell down right next to them.

“Oh time for another song. If you somehow don’t know this next one is called hells Greatest Dad. The author suggests you watch or listen to it for yourself but heres the written version anyways.” Deadpool says to no one in particular.

Haha 🍎
Looks like you could use some help🍎
From the big boss of Hell himself🍎
Check out daddy's glowing reviews on Yelp🍎
(Five stars! Flawless! Greater than great!)🍎
Oh, with the punch of a pentagram🍎
I wap-bam-boom, alakazam🍎
Usually, I charge a sacrificial lamb🍎
But you get the family rate (thanks dad!)🍎
Who needs a busboy, now that you've got the chef? (wow)🍎
Michelin-tasting menu, free à la carte🍎
I'll rig the game for you because I'm the ref🍎
Champagne fountains, caviar mountains, that's just a start!🍎
Who's been here since day one?📻
Who's been faithful as a nun?📻
Who makes you chuckle with an old-timey pun?📻
Your executive producer?📻
(That's true!)⭐
I'm your guy, your day-to-day📻
Your chum, your steadfast hotelier📻
Remember when I fixed that clog today?📻
I was stuck, thank you sir!🗡️
(Oh you!)⭐
I'm truly honored that we've built such a bond📻
(aw)⭐
You're like the child that I wish that I had📻
(uh, what?)🍎
I care for you, just like a daughter I spawned📻
(hold on now!)🍎
It's a little funny, you could almost call me dad📻
Angry solos intensify
They say, when you're looking for assistance📻
It's smart to pick the path of least resistance📻
Others say, that in your needy hour🍎
There's no substitute for pure angelic power!🍎
Who just happens to also be your blood!🍎
Sadly, there are times a birth parent is a dud📻
They say the family you choose is better📻
(what a bunch of losers)🍎
Can you butt out of my song?📻
(Your song? I started this!)🍎
I'm singing it, I'll finish it!📻
(Oh, you tacky piece of–)🍎
It's me, yes, it's me🌈
I know you were all waiting for me🌈
I'm here, what a gas🌈
Took a while, but I'm present at last🌈
It's me, it's me🌈
Mimzy!🌈
Who?🍎

Apparently a new guest had arrived to the hotel that apparently Alastor knew. Luckily this guests sudden appearance had de-escalated the tension between Lucifer in Alastor. Though not entirely as Charlie was now giving Lucifer a tour with Alastor helping.

“Is anyone else worried that a fight could break out?” Viktor was mainly looking for reassurance that he wouldn’t be in the crossfire as he was well aware he was very mortal.

“You sure they aren’t married? Thats how me and Wolvie interact all the time.” Wade with all his expertise added.

“How many fucking times do I have to say we aren’t married?” Logan was tired of this.

“Till death do us part Wolvie. And we both know god isn’t ready to have a face to face with me yet.”

“God doesn’t like having a face to face with anyone. Unless he gives you special treatment. Even a majority of his own angels don’t get that privilege.” Crowley had decided to make his presence known even if he was going to pretend like Aziraphale wasn’t there.

“Whats all this chatter about?” Mimzy sat at the bar inbetween Crowley and Wolverine. Disturbing the perfectly maintained space the both had for themselves. Husk was also displeased but more so from Mimzys presence in general rather than just where she sat.

“How you doing fur ball?” Mimzy really had no spacial awareness.

“Good. Until five minutes ago.”

“Hey new girl no one gets to call the bartender fur ball except us.” Deadpool didn’t like new people trying to change the group dynamic.

“Jeez who is this ray of sunshine?”

“I’m Wolvies one and only true love.” Wade then tried to caress Wolverine but Wolverine immediately stabbed him. “See? So much love.” Angel who had been sitting next to Wolverine then spoke up.

“So wait you and Alastor are friends?”

“Why so surprised?”

“I thought he didn’t have any of those. He’s been a bit of a creepy mystery since he got here. Whats his deal?” While they were chatting Aziraphale was talking book recommendations with Jakie in Viktor. No I am totally not mentioning this because I don’t feel like describing Alastors backstory. Oh would you look at that they finished talking about it and we missed it. Darn. Oh also Husk had disappeared mid story to go find Alastor.

“I must ask why were you biting Jakie earlier? I didn’t think you were one to resort to violence.” Aziraphale asked in a worried voice.

“Oh no I wasn’t hurting her. She lets me chew on her arm for stress release.” Viktor explained

“I can confirm. He doesn’t bite hard at all.” Jakie held out her arm to show that no bite marks had been left.

“Oh. I have never heard of that before. Perhaps you can-” A loud bang was heard on the door as some people started calling for Mimzy. Seems like her sudden arrival at the hotel was not a coincidence.

“Oh shit.” Mimzy hid underneath the bar counter. Vaggie, Charlie, and Lucifer portaled to the main lobby.

“Whats going on?” Charlie just wanted to show the hotel to her dad not have people trying to break down the front door.

“I may be in trouble with some loan sharks I may or may not have borrowed fifty grand from.” At the sound of another bang on the door she hid behind the counter of the bar. “And I mauve have also stolen a car. And crashed it… Into the loan sharks girlfriend. But that bitch had it coming!” Parts of the hotel started being broken and being set on fire and so people started doing their best to stop the fires and mimize the damage.

This is when Alastor stepped up to take care of the problem by going all demon mode on the loan sharks outside. While that was happening it was clear Charlie was having a bit of a heated discussion with Lucifer.

When Alastor eliminated them all Mimzy went out to talk with him. While Charlie was getting a bit fed up with Lucifer.

“Dad just help me.”

“I… I can’t.”

“Why can’t you?”

“Charlie! You don’t understand. Heaven never listens! They didn’t listen to me they won’t listen to you.”

“You don’t know that!”

“I do!” Lucifer snapped.

“Oh time for round two dear readers. If you somehow don’t know this is “More than Anything” and again its suggested you watch the scene or listen to the actual song but heres the typed out version regardless.”

“Who the fuck are you talking to?” Husk asked looking around. Why was Deadpool always doing this?

You didn't know that when I tried this all before🍎
My dreams were too hard to defend🍎
And in the end, I won't lose it all again🍎
Now you're the only thing worth fighting for🍎
More than anything, more than anything🍎
I'll shelter and adore you more than anything🍎
Dad, I don't need you to protect me from this⭐
I just don't want you to be crushed by them like—🍎
Like I was🍎
Dad...⭐
When I was young, I didn't really know you at all⭐
I always felt so small⭐
But I hеard your stories and I was enthralled⭐
Thе tales about your lofty dreams, I'd listen breathlessly⭐
Imagining it could be me⭐
So in the end, it's the view I had of you⭐
That showed me dreams can be worth fighting for⭐
More than anything, more than anything⭐
I need to save my people more than anything⭐
I've been dyin' to find out who you are🍎
I've been waiting, wanting the same thing⭐
Looks like the apple doesn't fall far🍎
Took you a while⭐
I've missed that smile🍎
All that I'm hopin', now that my eyes are open🍎⭐
Is that we can start again, not be pulled apart again🍎⭐
'Cause in the end, you are part of who I am🍎⭐
I'll support your dream, whatever lies in store🍎
And who could ask for more?⭐
More than anything🍎
more than anything⭐
More than anything🍎
more than anything⭐
I'm grateful you're my daughter more than anything🍎
I'm grateful you're my father more than anything⭐
More than anything🍎⭐

“Aww that was sweet.” Sir Pentious was nearly crying from how sweet it was.

“Okay I can get you the meeting but once you’re in heaven I won’t be able to go with you. Will you be okay?”

“I will be fine.”

“Thats my girl.” Lucifer then stepped away from Charlie. “Good luck kiddo” Then in a swirl of magical sparkle he disappeared probably teleporting to back where he was before.

“Aww I wish my dad was that understanding.” Viktor was also on the verge of crying.

“The fuck are you talking about? I am your dad now and I am that understanding.” Deadpool pat Viktor on the head.

“Oh right.” Viktor had not expected Deadpool to still be serious about that.

“In fact you have two dads who are that understanding.” Deadpool added. For once Wolverine didn’t protest something Deadpool said.

“Well I don’t know much about being a father but you can rely on me when you need.” Aziraphale was always open to helping his friends.

“You guys.” Viktor had started crying from joy and Jakie started patting his head saying “there there”.

“And I thought Charlie could get emotional.” Angel dust wasn’t really annoyed as he wasn’t one to talk when it came to daddy issues.

“Oh my goodness I should start packing! Everyone I am going to go pack to prepare for going to heaven! Continue doing good things!” Charlie then rushed off with Vaggie following after her.

“Wait Charlie is going to heaven?” Sir Pentious questioned.

“I guess. Not sure if thats a good thing.” Angel dust wanted to be optimistic but the last meeting ended up with a sooner date for the extermination.

“I’m surpised she was able to work things out with her father. Anytime I’ve tried to reason with someone its gone to shit.” Crowley was definitely not referring to anyone when he said that.

“I guess talking things out does work. Sometimes.” Husk was tidying up the bar from the attack. Both Crowley and Aziraphale seemed to be lost in thought. Perhaps the wall that had been put between them was slowly beginning to crumble. Besides its hard to forget 6000 years of friendship especially in a place where none of the reasons they argued even existed. Those two always had a hard time staying away from each other even before it got more complicated.

Chapter Text

Less than 1 Month Until Extermination
Crowley yet again shifted how he was lying on his bed. The last time he was this restless, the end of the world was going to happen. Perhaps it's something similar due to this extermination that was supposed to happen soon. Because Crowley did not just witness someone who had a long disagreement with someone else just make it all up over a song. Because that would be absolutely absurd. I mean, that doesn’t actually work. Does it? Crowley could barely talk about his feelings and here people fucking sang about them. And it was more effective? Somehow?

Crowley sat up. It was a normal time of the day to be up at but thats what he was hoping to avoid. Luckily in this version of hell there was plenty of alcohol to drink away the feelings.

When he finally got downstairs it seemed there was commotion. A large hole had been made in the wall of the hotel and it seemed the hotel had yet another new visitor.

“Well if I’m being paid anyone who wants to come with can come with! So who’s with me!?”

“Yeah!” Viktor seemed very enthusiastic to go with this strange women except.

“I’m afraid I don’t recommend that.” Aziraphale apparently didn’t like whatever idea this was.

“Aww why not? Everyone else is going! Including Jakie.”

“Jakies not going either.” Jakie simply did a thumbs up to that. She had no intention to go if Viktor wasn’t going anyways.

“But why not? I bet Wade would let me go.” Aziraphale seemed offended at this comment.

“Wade may make you cookies but that doesn’t mean he’s a good role model. Besides its not safe for a human and angel to be wandering around a place like this.”

“Oh yeah. I guess I forgot. Okay bye everyone have a good time!” A group consisting of Cherri bomb, Sir Pentious, Angel dust, Husk, Nifty, Deadpool, and Wolverine all left to have a “responsible night on the town”. Leaving Jakie, Viktor, Crowley, Aziraphale and Alastor? No Alastor was not here, not sure where he went. But the rest were left at the hotel.

“Whos up for a game of scrabble?” Aziraphale suggested.

“Sure! But you’ll win if its just you and me so can Jakie be on my team?”

“I’m not sure the extra eyes she has on her halo will be a fair advantage.”

“I have them closed most of the time besides more eyes doesn’t mean I know more words.” Plus Jakie planned to just practice her newfound angelic powers. Which basically meant occastionally levitating things around her, including Viktor which was the ultimate test as she had not yet been able to fully levitate him. Yet. But she is nothing if not determined.

Crowley watched this scene unfold. I guess this meant he’d have to pour his own alcohol while Husk was gone. Not that he minded but he found Husk to be tolerable company. Crowley went to go behind the bar and grab a bottle of whatever was closest before going back upstairs to his room.

“Hey I’ve been meaning to ask whats up with you and Crowley?” Viktor was fidgeting with some of the tiles while waiting for his turn.

“I feel like everyone is asking about that.”

“Well if you don’t wanna talk about it then you don’t have to. I just you seem sad whenever he’s near.”

“How long have you and Jakie been friends?”

“Oh we’ve been friends for years! Took a lot of time though because while we have lots of similarities the differences caused a bit of a learning curve at first.”

“Have you ever wanted to be more than friends?”

“Not in the slightest! Shes not my type in the slightest and I’m not hers. If we felt any different we’d have talked about it before now. However if I were to ever find someone to be with I’d want to be just as close with them as I am with Jakie.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Well look me and Jakie will always be on the same team. But theres a difference between someone you just know you always want in your life verses someone you know you always want in your life romantically. For me and Jakie its more like we’re siblings but without all the rivalry. But I imagine liking someone romantically to come with different feelings. Not only that but how I view my time spent with them. People often assume me and Jakie are dating because of our closeness but neither of us view it as that meaning it just simply isn’t. What I mean to say is theres different lines everyone set for themselves and how they know whether they love someone platonically or romantically.” Jakie simply nodded her head in agreement with what Viktor said.

“Have you two ever had arguments?”

“Ooooh yeah. Usually over petty stuff.” Jakie booped Viktor on the nose.

“Happens to the best of us but we can always talk it out.” Viktor booped Jakie back.

“What if it wasn’t over something petty?”

“The way I’d view it I’d rather talk it out then go the rest of my life without my best friend.”

“What if talking it out didn’t work?”

“Well given our circumstances I’d say perhaps singing it out is an option?” Viktor knew it sounded silly but one must adapt in new environments.

“Like the apology dance but more singing” Aziraphale half mumbled.

“Apology dance?”

“I’ll tell you the full story another time. Right now there is someone I need to… Sing to.” Aziraphale stood up and straightened his jacket before walking away to presumably “sing” things out with Crowley.

Crowly was sitting up in his bed drinking out of the bottle, glaring at nothing in particular in the room. A gentle knock on the door disturbed him from his thoughts.

“Unavailable.” Considering who he saw left he figured it would have been Charlie or Vaggie. Perhaps Jakie or Viktor but those two have no hotel responsibilities so that would be more odd. Regardless he wasn’t in the mood.

“Crowley?” Aziraphales voice was not the one he expected and he found himself standing up immediately. Does he open the door? The haven’t talked since the kiss and who knows what Aziraphale wants. “I would very much like to speak with you Crowley.” It went so badly the first time. Nothing Crowley had said had gotten through to Aziraphale but to throw it all away after they had overcome so much.

“Come in.” Crowley finally said. Are his hands shaky? He’s supposed to be a demon for gods sake and here he is being anxious.

Aziraphale took a deep breath before pushing the door open and for the first time since they got there they actually looked at each other.

“Crowley I am here to apologize.”

“Apologize?” Crowley was not expecting that. “With the dance?”

“No I’m actually going to do you one better.”

🕶️📖

I didn’t know that when I tried this all before📖
You barely got to get a word in📖
And in the end I don’t want to loose you again📖
I think that we’re worth fighting for📖
More than anything, more than anything📖
I’m here to apologize more than anything📖

Aziraphale you really don’t have too-🕶️

I just really want to apologize. I didn’t here you out properly before and you deserve to have your feelings heard.📖

Aziraphale…🕶️

When we first met I didn’t really know you at all🕶️
Then I had to fall🕶️
But we kept in touch and you had me enthralled🕶️
All of your hopes and dreams, always so heavenly🕶️
I wished that they’d be about me🕶️
So in the end it’s the view I had of you🕶️
That showed me dreams were worth fighting for🕶️
More than anything, more than anything🕶️
I’m glad I haven’t lost you more than anything🕶️
I’m glad I didn’t get a chance to go to far📖
I’ve been waiting hoping you want the same thing🕶️
Don’t really wanna lose my co-star📖
Took you a while🕶️
I’ve missed that smile📖
All that I’m hopin now that my eyes are open🕶️📖
Is that we can start again not be pulled apart again🕶️📖
Cause in the end you are a part of who I am🕶️📖
I’ll support this team whatever lies in store📖
And who could ask for more?🕶️
More than anything📖
More than anything🕶️
More than anything📖
More than anything🕶️
I’m grateful you’re my partner more than anything🕶️📖
More than anything🕶️📖

This time it was Aziraphale who initiated the kiss. Crowley wasn’t usually one for feelings but rules seemed to find themselves broken when these two were together.

When the two finally returned downstairs they found Jakie and Viktor staring at a bug on the ground.

“I think his name should be Steve.” Viktor suggested.

“What about Bugthew?” Jakie countered

“Bugthew will do great things in life.” It seems Viktor agreed it was a good name. This is when the two noticed Aziraphale accompanied by Crowley arm in arm. Viktors eyes lit up.

“You guys worked it out! I’m so happy!” Viktor clapped his hands together. Ever so plot conveniently the group that had been out doing who knows what had returned.

“SEE I’M TELLING YOU I KNOW WHEN I SMELL A ROMANCE.” This is Deadpools way of saying he told you so. “I would know as a married man myself!” He tried to kiss Wolverine (through his mask mind you) and instead got decapitated.

“Ow what the fuck do you know how long it takes to grow a new one? I have to wait until next chapter for the author to give me a body again.” The decapitated head said.

“Don’t care.” Wolverine flopped down at the bar as Husk got behind the bar and poured him a drink.

“Say has Charlie and Vaggie returned yet or are they still in heaven?” Angel Dust was curious to now the results.

“Oh not yet but I’m sure they will-” At a very plot convenient point an angelic portal opened up throwing Charlie and Vaggie out.

“Hey how’d it go?” Viktor asked eagerly. Though his smile faded as he realized both Charlie and Vaggie seemed deeply upset.

“Badly.” Charlie left to go upstairs without another word and Vaggie simply sat at the bar and ordered a drink.

It seems when one thing works itself out a million more problems pop up. While one couple may have finally worked things out another now must overcome new obstacles. The extermination gets closer everyday.

Chapter Text

Less than 1 Month Until Extermination

In Heaven

“Sir we have footage from the hotel.” Lute and Adam were in a dark room with a TV sceen that was displaying footage of the hotel while Charlie had been in heaven. “We have found the missing Winner and not only that but a human they are haboring. We should just go down there now-”
“Bitch how many times must I tell you to chill the fuck out? Sera is barely allowing the extermination as is and if we go down there now then say bye bye to ever getting to do it again.” Adam had a fruit plate from which he was eating grapes from. “Besides.” Munch “No preparation will protect them anyways.” Munch “Then we can rescue the Winner and human and Sera will see why this is all needed in the first place.”
“Why not tell Sera about the Winner and human?”
“Because then Emily would probably insist on a peaceful extraction. No if we pretend we found the Winner and human there and then we’d have more reason to convince Sera that the demons cannot be reasoned with. Besides in the event they die in the process we won’t get any flack for it.”
“I understand Sir.
“Exactly. Now lets go get some fucking boba.”

In Hell

“So like where are your wings?” Niffty looked at Vaggie curiously.

“Niffty I don’t have-” Vaggie started

“Did you ever think maybe shes sensitive about her lack of wings? Just like her lack of tits.” Angel Dust was always one for humor.

“Yeah where are you tits?” Niffty asked.

“Guys be nice this sounds like a reall complicated situation.” Viktor was “sitting” and by that I mean Jakie had successfully levitated him and he was sitting on air as he was being levitated.

“Any other questions?” Vaggie hoped no more jokes would be made.

“I got one. How come every time Charlie talks to heaven we get in deeper and deeper shit?” Husk the ever-pessimistic one. But also the kinda realistic one at the moment.

“Its not her fault! Angels are just-” Vaggie started

“Liars?” Angel dust was not leaving Vaggie alone.

“-Difficult. But Charlie is trying her best!”

“Unfortunately her best isn’t stopping heaven from coming down to try to kill everyone. Which as someone with experience in that area Heaven can be quite unreasonable so I’m not surprised she wasn’t able to reason with them.” Crowley who had not really be involved in major discussion before was sat beside Aziraphale.

“Where is Charlie?” Aziraphale was worried after seeing her rush off so distraught after she had returned from heaven.

“In our room. Alone.” While no one really noticed Alastor seemed to get an idea and disappeared to pursue it.

“How odd you mention she was alone when that really doesn’t seem relavant to anyone.” Ah yes there he is our favorite person of course Deadpool.

“Can you for once act like you care?” Wolverine had also involved himself in this conversation. While he hated Deadpool everyone else had been quite kind and accommodating and honestly he was growing a bit fond of this place.

“I do care! I care so much!” Even though Deadpool was serious he was saying it in a very sarcastic way.

“No you’re just being an annoyance.”

“Mwe? An Annowyance? Not twue.” Dear god Wade not the OwO voice.

“Please stop that voice.”

“Youw Owopressing mwe.” Wade nO.

“I’m ignoring this.” Wolverine had a good reason to be an alcoholic.

It was at this moment that the energy in the hotel changed and weird glowy green symbols appeared and Vaggie immediately ran off.

“Thaths Pwobabwy nwot pwot wewavent.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Thank you Husk.

Then Charlie and Alastor came down the stairs followed by Vaggie. It seems they were determined to go somewhere?

“So uh Alastor and Charlie just left like they were runnin away from their responsibilities. Should we be alarmed?” Angle Dust already seemed alarmed.

“No. We have a plan but it includes defending ourselves against the angels.” Vaggie didn’t look pleased with this plan.

“Uh are you fucking high?” Husks question was a very valid one.

“They can be killed-”

“Yeah! That knife lady Camaro Carfight killed one!” One of Sir Pentious’s eggs pipped up.

“Wait you knew about this?” Vaggie knelt down to get closer to the Egg Bois level.

“Oh yeah. I told boss about it months ago!”

“He what?” Vaggie turned to Sir Pentious to glare at him.

“What? They say insane shit all the time! How was I supposed to know this one was true?”

“Bank accounts are a scam created by the shadow government.” The Egg Boi said further proving Sir Pentious’s point.

“See!”

“Whats important now is that we’re gonna have a fight on our hands. Look this hotels about to become the most dangerous place in hell and we- I can’t guarentee your safety anymore. I still believe in Charlies dream. I knoe this place can work but none of you signed up for this. I’m going to go learn how we can fight back but when I come home… Well I’ll understand if none of you are here.” Vaggie then left.

“None of us are actually leaving right?” Viktor was no longer levitating but was sitting next to Jakie and hugging her arm for comfort.

“It might not be safe for any of you anymore. As much as I hate to say it we do have to consider if it’d be safer for us to go elsewhere.” When Crowley said us he was mainly referring to Aziraphale Viktor Jakie and himself. While he mostly cared for Aziraphale seeing Aziraphale dare for Viktor and Jakie meant he’d look after them too.

“While I’wm awll fow the teawm a father mwust pwotect his childwen.”

“I’ve had to deal with the fact I could die this whole time! We can’t just abandon the hotel! We can’t abandon Charlie!”

“I’m with the kid on this one. Look I’m not usually the people sort of person but you guys.” Husk looked to Wade and frowned a bit. “Most of you guys are actually pretty respectful. I appreciate people who respect me as a bartender.”

“I second that. This hotel has been. More than I could have expected it to be. I’m not going to stand down when angels attack.” Even Angel Dust was on board.

“If Viktor wants to stay then I intend to stay with him.” Also Jakie could not physically leave while Viktor held her arm hostage.

“I’m not entirely sure I’m convinced.” Crowley knew what it was like to go to war with heaven and it nearly cost him everything.

“Now gwet weady to pway the swong “Stick Together”.” Do I even need to dialogue tag him when he speaks like this?

You and I 'til the end, don't need to pretend 🛩️
Again and again, we'll stick together🛩️
Everything is alright, with you by my side🛩️☕
We won't say goodbye, we'll stick together🛩️☕
We'll stick together🛩️
I can pick you up🕷️
When you're heading down🕷️
When it all just sucks🐍
I'll be your Charlie Brown🐍
You can make me laugh🛩️
When I want to cry🛩️
In a world gone mad🃏
We're on an all-time high🃏
And it wouldn't be the same without you🍻
We have yet so many stupid things to do🍻
You're the only thing I'm holding on to📖
Anywhere and anything📖
I'll be there🛩️
You and I 'til the end, don't need to pretend🛩️☕🕷️🐍🃏🍻📖🗡️🦄🕶️
Again and again, we'll stick together🛩️☕🕷️🐍🃏🍻📖🗡️🦄🕶️
Everything is alright, with you by my side🛩️☕🕷️🐍🃏🍻📖🗡️🦄🕶️
We won't say goodbye, we'll stick together🛩️☕🕷️🐍🃏🍻📖🗡️🦄🕶️
We'll stick together🛩️☕🕷️🐍🃏🍻📖🗡️🦄🕶️
We'll stick together🛩️☕🕷️🐍🃏🍻📖🗡️🦄🕶️
I can pick you up🗡️
When you're heading down🗡️
When it all just sucks🦄
I'll be your Charlie Brown🦄
You can make me laugh📖
When I want to cry📖
In a world gone mad🕶️
We're on an all-time high🕶️
You and I 'til the end, don't need to pretend🛩️☕🕷️🐍🃏🍻📖🗡️🦄🕶️
Again and again, we'll stick together🛩️☕🕷️🐍🃏🍻📖🗡️🦄🕶️
Everything is alright, with you by my side🛩️☕🕷️🐍🃏🍻📖🗡️🦄🕶️
We won't say goodbye, we'll stick together🛩️☕🕷️🐍🃏🍻📖🗡️🦄🕶️
And it wouldn't be the same without you🛩️
We have yet some many stupid things to do☕
You're the only thing I'm holding on to🛩️
Anywhere and anything🛩️☕🕷️🐍🃏🍻📖🗡️🦄🕶️
We'll stick together🛩️☕🕷️🐍🃏🍻📖🗡️🦄🕶️

“If I die I’m going to haunt you all from the after after life and you’ll regret it.” Angel dust joked.

“I’d welcome that. Now lets get fortifying!” Husk was being surprisingly optimistic.

When Vaggie and Charlie eventually got home a few things were noticable. One that Vaggie now had wings? How does that work? And two that no one had left the hotel and that they were ready to fight.

Chapter Text

1 Day Before Extermination

“Not to say I doubted Charlie and Vaggies plan but a whole army with a way to actually defend ourselves was certainly a pleasant surprise.” Aziraphale was helping Crowley set traps on the perimeter of the Hotel while Jakie, Viktor, Angel Dust, and Wolverine practiced fighting nearby.

“Hey you guys are getting awfully good at that.” The “that” Angel Dust was referring to was the team up fighting Viktor and Jakie were doing. Jakie had mastered her powers and Viktor had learned how to cooperate with her.

“Jakie is doing all the heavy lifting. Literally.”

“I can levitate things I have an advantage. You are doing just fine.”

“Regardless I think when the Angels do come that they won’t know what hit them.” Wolverines confidence sure was nice.

“Hell yeah they won’t!” Angel dust mimicked Logans confidence.

“Honestly if me and Aziraphale could challenge the might of heaven with only a few others then I think with the army you’ve got you all will do just fine.” Crowley miracled up some more traps.

“YoUwU cwan do anythwing with da powew of fwenship.” Dear got when did he get here.

“Fuck off.” It had been like this for almost a month. Deadpool had been really committed to the bit and most were used to it now but Wolverine still voiced his hatred for it.

“Thats nwot vewy nice.”

The sound of a mic being tapped was heard so the group went over to see Charlie preparing to give speech.

“Hello! I want to thank everyone for coming. Even the people who aren’t staying here yet, Cherri.”

“Look I can’t resist a fight okay? Especially when I get to tag team with this fuckhead.” Cherri bomb wrapped one arm around Angel dusts shoulders pulling him close.

“Tommorrow the exorcist angels will face a hell ready to defend itself and win!”

“Yeah!” Vaggie cheered “Yeah we will! Tell em baby!”

“Yes! And we are- we are going to win! But in case we don’t, I want you all to know that getting to know you has been the biggest honor of my life. Whatever redemption really means I know you all tried. I have seen the good in all of you and its- I- I’m just- I love you all so much and- and live tonight however you want because-”

“We’re all going to die! Hahaha!” Nifty every so enthuastic.

“All right lets give it up for not dying! Love not dying… Drinks?”

The group went inside to celebrate their night together. The time they may have spent together had made all of them close. While a few of them never chose to be here in the first place this had certainly become their new home.

“Aw I didn’t know Pentious had a thing for Cherri. When were you all going to tell me?” Viktor was sipping on a mimosa

“Oh right I forgot you weren’t at the bar. It was a lot more obvious then. Yeah I mean I think it could work.” Angel Dust had multiple drinks of his own.

“On that note whats up with you and Husk?”

“Oh that well. You know at first I was just doing my thing but you know bartenders they tend to see into your soul or some shit. Its not really anything for now but what it is is nice. And I’m happy with nice.”

“If you ever want advice I’m sure Crowley and Aziraphale know all about that.” Angel dust nearly spat out his drink with a snort.

“Not even going to try giving advice yourself?”

“I can give you advice on how to get cheap wedding stuff but I have no idea the steps to take to actually get to having a wedding.”

“Well then if you ever need advice you know who you can ask.”

“I’ll toast to that.” Viktor and Angel toasted their drinks.

In another corner of the room a different discussion was happening.

“I must say Jakie you are a remarkable young women and you should be proud of yourself.” Aziraphale was certainly proud of her.

“Thank you. I am proud of myself.” Jakie was drinking a screwdriver

“They gwow up swo fast. I’m sOwO pwoud.”

“And remember Jakie if you or Viktor need some fatherly advice you have a lot of people who can give it in a heartbeat. But maybe take Wades advice with a grain of salt.” Crowley was already quite tipsy so he was acting more cheery than usual.

“Will do.”

And in yet another corner of the room. Geez so many corners. Alastor and Niffty were looking down at the group from the top of the second floor.

“Ah the celebratory night before a courageous last stand. Its been a surprising thrill to witness these wayward souls find connection. Almost makes one sentimental eh Niffty?”

“I really like them Alastor. They let me put on roach puppet shows without booing!”

“Ah an enjoyable collective to be around. I admit one could get accustomed.” Nifty then put a crown made of twigs and roaches? On Alastors head.

“I dub thee king roach!”

“Oh to understand your twisted little mind!”

The whole group was feeling enthusiastic. Sure maybe they’d get hurt but they had each other and nothing was going to stop them from defending their home.

Day of Extermination

“Extermination day is here bitches. We’re going to go down and exterminate demon ass!” Adam was giving a speech to the Exorcists.

“Destroy that ass!” With Lute by his side.

“Prepare to slaughter ever sinner in that Hotel and you all remember Vaggie?” Adam pointed to the exorcists cuing them to react.

“Boo! We hate her!”

“Rip Vaggies cunt mouth out her ass!” Lute was very fired up.

“Would you just- ju- chill Lute fuck.” Even Adam was not that fired up. “Whoever brings me Vaggies head gets… Uh I dunno a million Heaven bucks? How bout that huh?” Does Heaven even have an economy? Regardless all the exorcists were still very thrilled at the thought of killing Vaggie. “Haha yeah! Ladies lets fuck shit up. ATTACK!”

“FORWARD!” Lute yelled as her Adam and the entire army of exorcists went through a portal leading to hell. The attack had begun.

When the exorcists reached the hotel they were immediately met by resistance and when enough of them got to close a forcefield courtesy of Alastor activated shutting many of the the exoricsts and Adam out.

“Where the fuck are my children?” For once Deadpool momentarily dropped the OwO voice if only to try to find where Jakie and Viktor had gone.

“Yeah where the fuck are they?” And Wolverine was equally concerned.

“Look up!” Sir Pentious suggested. Correctly I may add as Jakie had flown up levitating Viktor with him to battle the Exorcists in the air.

“Fuck you stupid birds! Leave my family alone!” Viktor yelled out. It seemed that Viktor and Jakie were doing just fine. In fact everyone was doing just fine and things were going great. Until the forcefield came down. Which thankfully it had been planned for but it meant things would be getting much harder and that Alastor was about to take on a very impossible fight.

While Alastor was fighting Adam everyone was suddenly fighting a much larger number of exorcists.

“I really do not like this violence!” Aziraphale had decided to take a similar route to charlie and just use a shield while Crowley had no problem wielding guns.

“Well I promise once its over that you and me will find the nicest restaurant here and have a wonderful time.” Crowley shot a few exorcists.

“That would be very nice!”

While the team had still been holding up things again changed when Adam joined the main fight. Which meant Alastor was probably dead. Which was really really bad as Adam could literally smite you off the face of hell. There wasn’t much time someone had to do something. And someone would. Sir Pentious refused to do nothing. He made his way up the hotel towards his zeplin but he had one last thing he had to do first.

“I’m trying to fight are you out of your fucking mind?” Cherri asked after he grabbed her.

“Yes!” Sir Pentious then kissed Cherri bomb “Miss Cherri Bomb I love you. Remember mee!” He ran or rather slithered away leaving a flabbergasted Cherri Bomb.

The whole group looked up to the sky as they saw Sir Pentious zeppelin take off as he went to try and kill Adam. The zepplin charged up with what was assumed to be a death ray but before it could fire Adam used his powers and just disintegrated the entire thing including Sir Pentious. After seeing this Charlie raged and her and Vaggie went to go fight Adam herself except something else was happening at the same time.

Jakie had known the risk flying into the air was and the traps going off all around her but she figured if she stayed focus she and Viktor would be just fine. She was only distracted a moment when another trap went off. Her last thoughts were about protecting Viktor from the shrapnel that she had noticed far to late. However being protected from shrapnel does nothing when you are high in the air and you can no longer fly. Viktors last thoughts before hitting the ground was wanting to hug Jakie just one more time.

“Are you fucking kidding me we needed those two! Oh now I’m fucking mad.” Adam fought Charlie while Lute focused on doing everything she could to kill Vaggie. Both sets having absolutely brutal fights with Vaggies ending by trapping Lute under rubble and Charlies almost ending by getting killed. Lucky for her a certain king of hell was there to save her.

Lucifer with Charlies help was able to stand a chance against Adam while Lute who had literally ripped her arm off to escape the rubble was fighting Vaggie again. Finally things settled down when Luicfer was able to get Adam on the ground and beat him enough that Charlie suggested to pull away and give him mercy.

“No… You don’t get to end this. I’m fucking Adam I’m the fucking man. And you’re just some fucking clown or something. I started everything on Earth! All of mankind came from these fucking nuts! You all should be worshipping me you ungrateful disgusting fucking losers!-” Suddenly Adam found himself stabbed in the chest. Then stabbed again and again it seems Niffty was really committed to the stab the angel bit.

“No!” Lute rushed to his side and turned Adam over to look at his face.”Sir Sir? Stay with me Sir!” He simply smiled at her. “Adam!”

“It’s over.” Charlie was still very pissed off.

“Take your little friends and go home! Please.” Lucifer was also very pissed off. Lute grabbed Adams halo.

“Retreat. All Exorcists fall back.” The remaining exorcists did as she commanded and returned through the portal from which they came.

“Is it over?” Charlie looked at where the portal just was.

“I think so.” Vaggie felt like she barely processed that whole fight.
“Sir Pentious-” Charlie started

“It- It wasn’t just Pentious.” Angel dust gestured to the bodies of Jakie and Viktor. Aziraphale, Crowley, Deadpool, and Wolverine were already there. Aziraphale was crying and the rest were on the verge of tears.

“Oh God when did that happen-” Charlie and the others made their way over. For Pentious there was no body left to be found which had softened the blow in a weird sort of way. But actually seeing the bodies of people you knew people you were supposed to protect. That hit different.

“But Viktor hadn’t actually died yet. As much it breaks my heart that Pentious and Jakie are gone Viktor is out there and probably not doing so great. Some of us should mount a search party just in case he somehow went to hell or found his way back here and the rest should fix up the hotel.” Vaggie knew what it was like to be all alone in an unfamiliar place and she didn’t wish that on anyone.

“Okay um I know this is a lot ot ask of you guys but you knew him best so maybe that might give you an advantage in finding him so Aziraphale, Crowley, Wade, Logan do you think you could maybe?-” Charlie would have volunteered herself but she needed to focus on the hotel.

“I’ll go.” Logan was the first to volunteer.

“I I’m afraid I can’t leave them- their bodies like this. I’d like to stay and give them a proper burial even if Viktor will return.” Aziraphale was still crying.

“I Awso will stway.” It was unclear if Deadpool was just trying to keep up the annoying shtick or if he was doing it to cover up the fact he was about to cry.

“And I’ll go. It’ll go faster if someone can search from the air while someone searches the ground.” Crowley didn’t want to process his emotions right now. He just wanted to stop feeling. Why must demons feel?

“Thank you.” Charlie said.

Charlie, Lucifer, Husk, Angel Dust, Niffty, and Vaggie started working on fixing the hotel. Aziraphale and Wade worked on buring Jakie and Viktors bodies while Crowley and Wolverine offically head out to search for where Viktor may have respawned.

One Day after the Extermination

Lute had told Lillith the previous day to stop her bitch daughter but just today she got the news that a sinner was in heaven somehow. Everything was ruined. Adam wasn’t supposed to die. What was she supposed to do now that Adam was dead? She felt numb and somehow angry at the same time when she had reported in to get fixed up. Her new golden arm felt strange and when she the new arm through Adams halo it shrunk to better fit like a bracelet. She wanted nothing more than to kill every last sinner in hell. Especially Vaggie and her bitch Charlie.

When she flew out of the building she didn’t even have a destination in mind. She only stopped when she heard wailing. Something else to focus on besides her own emotional turmoil. When she landed she saw what looked to be a Winner who was curled up and distressed. When they noticed her they uncurled and she reconized the human she and Adam were supposed to retrieve.

“You.”

Chapter Text

Everyone has a different story to how they met those they love. Sometimes its in an attempt to save your timeline. Sometimes it happens to be your both stuck in the same place at the same time. Maybe you all happened to be at the right place at the right time. Loving others around you is such a wonderful feeling until it all. Comes. Crashing. Down.

“You.” Lute drew her sword and pointed it at Viktor. “You’re how he got in aren’t you?”

“I what?” Viktor could barely talk between sobs but he had no idea what this exorcist could want.

“You’re how the sinner got in here right? I knew redemption wasn’t possible!”

“I haven’t been I’ve just been why would I?” The confusion was enough for Viktor to slowly be calming down and speaking clearer.

“The snake. You let him in.” Lute held the sword to Viktors neck. The only reason she wasn’t striking is she wanted to know how he did it.

“Wait Pentious is? But he. No no NO.” This caused Viktor to spiral back into hyperventilating. Viktor has been so focused on his loss with Jakie he hadn’t even processed Pentious death. Actually he hadn’t wanted to process it since it was his sacrifice that distracted Jakie costing her her life. But now hearing that he was here? He got to just have another go? He had already died as a human! Why did he get another chance?

Lute was surprised to see the Winner get more distressed when she brought up the sinner. It seemed like they were almost upset finding out they were up here. But if they brought him here they wouldn’t have been surprised. Sure it could all be a ruse of some sort but someone who was that manipulative wouldn’t have made it to heaven after dying. She pulled the sword away but didn’t put it away just yet. “Did you bring him here?”

“No and I I wish he had stayed dead.” A cruel thing to say but when you’re grieving and feel like others might be to blame its easier than just excepting that nothing could have changed the outcome.

If the winner was faking this then they wouldn’t be a soul worthy of heaven. But the fact they were so angry at this was a surprise. There was more to the story but it was hard to talk to someone who was sobbing their eyes out. Especially with the risk of some angel coming along and hearing something they shouldn’t.

“You will answer more of my questions but first we are going to go somewhere else. Do not resist.” Lute then grabbed Viktor by the back of his shirt and flew up into the air.

Viktor was never afraid of heights and honestly he had always dreamed of flying. But being up in the air like this only reminded him of his final moments with Jakie. He closed his eyes and wrapped his wings around him trying not to relive the moment over and over.

Lute flew over heaven and just figured Viktor was afraid of heights. Many winners when they got to heaven would have to take a flight class to get over the fear. She flew towards a cylindrical building and flew to the very top and landed on a balcony placing Viktor down as well. Then she pushed him inside the room and pointed to the nest on the ground.

“Sit and calm down. I have more questions.” Viktor went and sat in the nest and focused on breathing while Lute glared down at him and waited until he wasn’t sobbing with every breathe.

“How did you get to the hotel in the first place? Surely you know humans shouldn’t be in hell unless they die and deserve to go there. So how did you even get there?”

“Me and Jakie were on a walk. Then I’m kinda fuzzy on it now but Wade and Logan were nearby and we went through a portal and were somewhere new? Then we briefly met Aziraphale and Crowley before we yet again we were teleported somewhere. Thats when we were in hell and Jakie was okay but then I lost sight of her and we were just running away from all the demons trying to kill us. Thats when we ran into the hotel and Charlie let us in. Then Jakie came back because turns out she died and went to heaven but she didn’t want to leave me in hell. And so we just stayed there because it was safe but we also made friends. At least I thought I had made friends.” Would friends have let his best friend die?

Lute had heard of some demons who had the ability to open portals to earth but taking a human with them was against so many laws even in hell which surprising does in fact have laws. However it explained the missing winner. If Lute had been the human in that situation she would have gone back to hell for Adam in a heartbeat. Also while the hotel was an absolute joke one thing that could describe it was safer than the rest of hell. If only because of Charlies delusions.

“They are not your friends. They probably had the means to return you and just chose not to. Probably to leverage you against heaven if they got the chance. Except they probably decided having you fight the war they started was a better idea.” Those filthy sinners didn’t do enough by ruining their own lives but had to ruin the lives of innocents to?

“So what am I supposed to do now? Shes gone and I’m still here.”

“There has been talk of stopping the exterminations. Even some of my fellow exorcists have begun to lose faith in the cause but you and I have suffered first hand from those filth. You were led to believe you were on the right side and you lost everything for it. You can either live you life in heaven knowing they’re still out there or you can stand with me. We will correct the mistake of ever allowing any of them to live.” Viktor processed the words slowly. He thought he had managed to find a family in all the chaos and now he was being asked to betray them. But had they betrayed him first? Could they really have found a way to send him and Jakie back home? Why should sinners be allowed to just redeem themselves after death. Doesn’t that make living on earth pointless if the consequences aren’t eternal. And then there was Sir Pentious just getting another chance. Viktor was still mad about that.

“Okay you’re right but there were a few other like me. Their names are Aziraphale and Crowley and I know for a fact they didn’t mean to do anything wrong. They were brought in through a portal like me.” Viktor didn’t mention Wade or Logan. It was Wades fault Viktor and Jakie had been brought there and Logan didn’t do more to stop or fix it.

“You were the only human we detected down there.” Lute narrowed her eyes at Viktor wondering if he was trying to cover for some sinners.

“Well they’re not exactly humans. Apparently the portal that brought us here was from another universe? I don’t fully understand it but they didn’t choose this either.” Lute chose to believe Viktors words. Or at least believe that he believe he was telling the truth.

“I can’t promise anything but when the war does come I’ll give them one chance to stand down.” Agreeing to any of this felt weird. Just a few days ago the dream of redemption felt alive with a family Viktor trusted. But with Jakie gone it left a gaping wound that festered and refused to be reasoned with. If they had given a damn about him they wouldn’t have let Jakie die.

Viktor stood up. “My name is Viktor.” Lute took this as Viktor agreeing to stand with her on this. Finally someone who understood who was willing to listen.

“I’m Lute.”

“So do I have to testify against hell or something?” Lute paced as she thought.

“No Adam didn’t tell the seraphim that we had found you. Revealing this now would only cause further questioning in the exterminations.”

“Why didn’t he mention it?”

“Adam wisely suggested that we get you during the extermination. He was worried that if you got you beforehand that it’d risk the extermination. He wanted to show the seraphim why the extermination was important.” Lutes chest hurt thinking of Adam. It was supposed to have been just another extermination.

“I don’t really understand heaven politics but I trust he did what he thought best. Okay so how do I help?”

“Revealing you now wouldn’t help. And with the arrival of the snake you risk being recongized if you are too directly involved unless.” Lute stopped pacing and now had a crazy smile on her face. She turned to Viktor and placed her hands on his shoulders. “We turn you into an exorcist.”

“I can become an exorcist?”

“Well exorcists aren’t winners. We didn’t live on earth we were born here but it doesn’t mean you can’t look like one of us. Most angels can barely tell us apart from one another so you’d just be another exorcist mask out of hundreds. Besides exorcist training would do you some good.”

“How does that work?”

“Stay here. I’ll go grab the stuff i need from town and we’ll get to work.” Lute flew off without another word leaving Viktor alone in her room.

When Lute returned she found Viktor napping in the nest. She set down all the supplies next to the nest.

“I’m back. Its time to make you one of us.” Viktor opened his eyes and stretched before standing up.

“I’m ready.”

“Well it’ll be a bit of a process and parts of it will be painful. So I need to know that you trust me to do what needs to be done.” Lute needed to know that Viktor wouldn’t wimp out at the first sign of pain.

“I can do that.” Lute smirked at the response. It felt good to finally have someone who was competent.

“Well one issue is you have to many wings. Exorcists only have two so you have four to many. I can rip them out but it will hurt so we’ll start with them first then bandage the wounds and let the them heal a bit as we finish up the rest of your appearance.” Viktor hadn’t expected that that was necessary but he’s felt the pain of dying before so whats the loss of a couple wings?

“Lets get it over with then.” Viktor extended all his wings so they’d be easy to grab. Lute walked behind him.

“Being an exorcist is a lot of hard work but you’re already proving you’re up to the task. When we’re done we will go out for Boba.” When Adam was upset over as he liked to call it “girl drama” they would always go out for boba. While the grief they were both experiencing wasn’t anything close to “girl drama” boba might still help even just a bit. Besides Viktor deserved to see the reward he had earned for his afterlife. Even if he would be working much harder to defend it then spending time enjoying it.

“That sounds nice-” Lute ripped out the top two wings and Viktor screamed his eyes welling up with tears. However it didn’t faze Lute. This reaction was expected.

“Just two more.” Viktor didn’t respond but he wasn’t trying to get away or tell Lute to stop so she knew that meant to continue. Lute then ripped out the bottom two. Lute had decided that the middle two would be most suitable for altering to look like proper exorcist wings.

“Alright. If you’d please have a seat in the nest I’ll grab some bandages.” Viktor went and flopped down in the nest wipping the tears from his face. Lute brought over some bandages and lifted the back of his shirt to properly get the wounds wrapped up. “Your wounds will heal quickly. A perk of heaven.”

“I’m definitely looking forward to the boba now.” Lute snicked at that.

“Well all the rest is fairly easy. Especially since in heaven you can make changes that stay permanent until you change them again.” Lute finished and pulled his shirt back down. “Next is giving you a hair cut. Exorcists can’t have to long of hair because it’ll get in the way of our helmets.” She grabbed a pair of scissors from the pile of supplies she had set down earlier.

“Jakie had the longest hair. I joked that I was trying to grow mine out to catch up with her.” Lute started to cut large chunks out but mostly following the layered look Viktors hair already had. “Though quite a few times I told her to just take a pair of scissors and have fun with it!” Though Viktor was recounting a happy memory the sadness and grief could be heard in his tone.

“Adam said he liked it when women kept it simple and didn’t change their hair. Cause then he wouldn’t have to compliment it or if he didn’t notice it he wouldn’t get yelled at for it.” Lute turned Viktors head to the right so she could cut that side.

“I like your hair.” Lute froze. She was used to the way Adam would compliment. Just hearing “I like your hair” instead of “Your hair is definitely not the worst I’ve seen.” was odd. Perhaps she had just grown used to learning how to interpreter what Adam meant that hearing someone just say things threw her a bit off guard.

“I appreciate the compliment. Your hair is also nice.” Lute finished up the cutting. “It is time to dye it.”

“What color?”

“Same as mine. Exorcists hair rarely deviate to far from the standard color.” She grabbed a bottle of grey liquid and opened it pouring it over Viktors hair. It was cold at first but quickly evaporated away leaving the hair a new color as it did. Heaven really was convenient.

“Will it now grow this color?”

“Yes it will. Now its time to dye your wings.” She grabbed a similar bottle to the hair dye but also grabbed a paintbrush. “A bit more time consuming since I have to be a bit more precise but shouldn’t take to long.” Lute dipped the paintbrush in the bottle and started to dye the wings.

“I guess it makes sense heaven would have so many cool things. Can you get tattoos that are technically permanent but also easily remove them?”

“Yes you can. Adam got many. Mainly of women he was with at the time.”

“Did you ever get a tattoo yourself?” Lute finished painting one week and moved onto the other.

“I have one.”

“If I may ask what is it?”

“The date me and Adam met.” Lute finished up the second wing. She then grabbed another vial this one yellow and stood up and resat down in front of Viktor. This vial had a little dropper inside it. “Okay next is eyes. To make it easy I’m going to hold your eyes open so you won’t blink.”

“It sounds like you and Adam were just as close as me and Jakie were.” Lute leaned in close and used her golden arm to keep one of Viktors eyes open as the other used the dropper to drop the golden liquid onto his eyes. Then she let go so he could blink and that eye turned a yellow.

“Then you must have loved her very much.” Lute held open the other eye and again dropped liquid onto it then let go.

“I did. I would’ve expected to be in each others lives for a very long time.” Viktor wiped away the tears that spilled from his eyes. “Ugh I always hated eye drops.”

“The next part will be far less uncomfortable.” Lute grabbed a halo that looked similar to hers and simply swapped it out with Viktors.

“Huh. I guess custom halos also makes sense.”

“Technically you can customize it however you want but you aren’t supposed to change the color as that indicates your position in heaven. But you’re doing it for the greater good. If heaven would listen to me then this wouldn’t be necessary.” Viktor poked the new halo out of curiosity before looking to Lute for the next step.

“Now you just need to get changed into the uniform. You can borrow one of mine. The closet is over there so you can get changed in there as well.” Viktor stood up and went into the closet. After a few moments he came back out again in uniform. Lute stood up and inspected him.

“Perfect. Now all thats left is getting you a helmet and training you but those can be done later. Lets go get boba so you can see more of heaven.” Lute flew out the balcony door and hovered a few feet above the balcony waiting for Viktor to follow. He attempted to fly up but but immediately felt his whole body tensing up as yet again the height just reminded him of falling to his death. He curled his wings around himself and felt back down to the balcony floor.

“Oh right. I forgot winners can be scared of heights.”

“I’m not scared of heights.” Lute rolled her eyes.

“You don’t need to act brave.”

“I’m not scared of heights.” Viktor looked up at her with tears in his eyes.

“Then what are you scared of?” While part of Lute didn’t want to coddle or even encourage this behavior but she couldn’t help but imagine what she’d do if he were Adam. Granted he wasn’t Adam but he certainly wasn’t near as horrible as anyone else she usually had to interact with.

“I remember falling through the air during my final moments. I couldn’t do anything I couldn’t save her I just. I just.” Viktor was on the verge of hyperventilating.

“Today I’ll carry you but then we are going to practice until you can fly. You are an exorcist now and you’re going to need to act like it.” Viktor took a few deep breaths then stood up.

“You’re right. I’ll work on it.” Lute didn’t expect the phrase “you’re right” to affect her so much but she had just not heard it at all recently. She couldn’t help but have a smug grin plastered on her face.

“Yes you will.” Lute flew over and grabbed Viktor at the back of his uniform before taking off again to fly to the boba shop. Viktor once again closed his eyes and curled up.

The day had started to get darker as the sun started to set. When they reached the boba shop Lute set Viktor down who was immediately much better now that he wasn’t in the air. Lute landed next to him.

The two went up to the counter and Lute ordered a Mango blend with strawberry popping boba and Vanilla lavender blend with honey boba. It was only after she said it did she realize she just ordered her and adams favorites and hadn’t tried thinking of something new.

Drinks were served quickly as in heaven the food service was always speedy and amazing and the two then sat down at a table. Lute gave Viktor the Mango with strawberry popping boba one. What usually was Adams favorite. It was hard not to want to project Adam onto him just a tiny bit. I mean all humans are Adams descendants and while some were horrible some you could just tell they were one of his descendants. Viktors like if Adam spoke in less slang, was a bit more clear with exactly what he meant, had a way different style, and had lived a different life as a human. But Viktor was just as supportive as Adam was and if he liked the boba that would be another similarity.

“I’ve never had this flavor before.” Viktor tried the boba. Honestly it was better than he expected. “Its pretty good though.” See another similarity. Lute may be training Viktor like an exorcist but he was better than most of them already. He also respected her authority!

“It was one of Adams favorites.”

“If there was a coffee flavored Boba that probably would have been Jakies favorite.”

Unfortunately things couldn’t stay as nice because out of everyone Emily decided to drop by.

“HIIII Lute I’ve been looking for you! I wanted to update you on the Pentious situation and- oh- I am so sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt your date!”

“I am not on a date!” Lute said that a bit harshly. She didn’t like the suggestion. She had been pining after Adam so long that the thought of being with someone else was almost distressing. Even if Viktor was more than tolerable she didn’t want any assumptions to be made. “Whats the update?”

“Oh well sorry for assuming but we are momentarily having him kept in a room while we sort things out. During our next meeting we’re going to discuss whether or not to put him on trial which I think is unnecessary but I just wanted to let you know that we will be sorting the situation out soon!” Lute frowned. The only solution would be to send the filth back to hell but Lute knew Emily had other ideas.

“Thanks for the update.” Lute wanted her to leave.

“So who is your friend? I don’t think I’ve seen them before? Whats your name?” Emily was always a nosy one. Viktor was unsure what to say so he looked to Lute who did her best to come up with a name on the spot.

“Oh um thats Vvvadam.” It was the only thin she could think of.

“Well nice to meet you Vadam! I’m Emily!”

“Yes well me and Vadam must get going as its time for training soon.” Viktor nodded in confirmation and stood up with his boba.

“Then I won’t keep you!” Lute also stood up and started to walk away. Viktor grabbed Lutes boba for her and follow her. “And Lute I wanted to say that I’m sorry for your loss.” Lute glared at the space in front of her but she knew better than to say the things she was thinking to a Seraphim and instead kept walking. Then when they were outside the the store she grabbed Viktor and took the air again her fists clenched.

“Lute?” Viktor looked up to Lute and for the first time wasn’t relieving the moments of his death. He was to concerned for that. “I really liked the boba. I also wanted to say we can come up with a different name to use for me besides Vadam.” Lute became a bit less tense. She was used to peoples kindness just feeling condescending. Emily could be so infuriating sometimes. But Viktor wasn’t the worst and he didn’t try to offer false sympathies.

“I think its fine.” They were back at the balcony again.

“Then I’m fine using it.” Viktor yawned. “Where should I sleep?”

“The nest is big enough we’ll just put a pillow inbetween us.” Lute had specifically made the nest big enough for the one time her and Adam had a sleepover. Adam had said it would be fun and it was but Lute wish more had happened besides Adam getting drunk and complaining about a girl who had rejected him then having to take care of drunk Adam.

“Sounds good. Do you care which side is yours?”

“Yeah the left side is mine.” That had been where adam had passed out when he slept over.

“Understood.” Viktor flopped down in the left side of the nest.

“Tommorrow morning we start your training.” Lute grabbed a pillow and put it in the middle before she got into her side of the nest.

“Sounds good.”

The two were settled into the nest and eventually drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Text

One Week after the Extermination
Things at the hotel had changed significantly. The hotel had been rebuilt bigger and many were still mourning the loss of their companions. Though luckily they found out Alastor was not among the fallen. They still had not been able to find Viktor though Wolverine still goes out everyday. Crowley on the other hand has been dedicating his time to being there for Aziraphale. However one big change had been therapy sessions. These were ran by Charlie and was useful in helping everyone deal with their grief and whatever other emotions the needed help going through. Which everyone was going through in their own ways.

“So its been a week since everything has gone down. How are you feeling?” Charlie had the classic clipboard to write things down on and across from her was Angel Dust.

“Honestly its still a lot to process. I mean we saved the hotel and stopped the extermination but I can’t help but be sad. I mean I don’t think Pentious deserved such a fate and by the fact Jakie got redeemed the moment she died we know for a fact she didn’t. And Viktor is out there alone. I mean kid could barely remember to keep his little horns on straight I was always fixing them. Then theres my job and it certainly does not help with anything to have to deal with Val on top of all these emotions.” Angel Dust pet Fat Nuggest who had been resting in his lap.

“We all go through grief in our ways and its healthy that you can acknolwedge you’re grieving. Do you want to talk about this more?” Charlie took notes on her clipboard.

“I can talk about it more but I feel like it won’t change anything and I feel stuck in this loop of constantly thinking about it.”

“Alright then perhaps I can ask you a question.”

“Sure go for it.”

“How has your relationship with Husk been?” Charlie hoped this wasn’t to invasive but then again therapy was all about being invasive right?

“Oh well I mean pretty good I think? We talk like normal people do which is oddly nice.”

“Well I am glad you two are good friends. But I was wondering if you were perhaps wanting to be more than friends?” While charlie was genuinely curious she also wanted to encourage Angel Dust to talk about all his feelings.

“You know thats. I’m not quite. I haven’t decided. Honestly its kinda nice not having to know or decide. I know I don’t gotta have an act around him but I’m not really used to all that lovely dovey romance stuff so for right now its just what it is.”

“Of course. And there is nothing wrong with that at all!”

Angel Dust wasn’t the only one who got therapy with Charlie as Charlie had basically made it mandatory for everyone to attend though she couldn’t force them to come most did attend. For example Aziraphale was really keen on it.

“So how have you been doing?” Charlie know there was probably no good answer to that but if she only wanted good answers she wouldn’t have been hosting this therapy.

“Its been a lot. I so glad I have Crowley to support me in all this but I just feel that I could have done more to protect them.”

“And I’m glad you have such a dedicated partner thats there for you. You had a special bond with Jakie and Viktor so its only natural you wish you could have protected them. But you cannot hold yourself responsible for what happened to them.”

“I know but they were so young! Had so much life ahead of them. I know Viktor is still out there but we’ve seen no sign of him. He and Jakie were very close and I hate to think what would become of him all alone with no support.”

“And we will find him. How have you been adjusting to the new Hotel?”

Then there was Crowley who showed but wasn’t the most interested in talking his feelings out.

“How are you processing everything?”

“I’ve been mostly focused on how Aziraphale is doing.” Crowley had been trying to work on talking his feelings out but that was just with Aziraphale. Not that he had anything against Charlie but she could be a bit naive at times.

“But right now I’m asking how you are doing.”

“Well I’m a bit pissed off at heaven.”

“That is understandable. The extermination did cause a lot of feelings.”

“Feelings is putting it mildly. Leave it to heaven to kill thousands and say its in the name of what is holy.”

All the different stages of grief were very present in the hotel guests. Even some of the odder stages.

“Do you think this way of talking is a coping mechanism?”

“YoUwU cwannot judge me on mwy cwoping mechanisms. I’ve sween yours OwO.” Dear readers I ask forgiveness for the writing crimes I’ve committed just to commit to this one bit.

“That. Is fair. But you do admit it is a coping mechanism.”

“I Admwit nwofing.”

Unfortunately not everyone went to the therapy. There were some like Alastor and Niffty who didn’t seem to need it and others like Husk and Logan who simply weren’t interested in even trying. Vaggie on the other hand was already open with her emotions with Charlie so the therapy wasn’t necessary for her but Vaggie did insist on giving therapy to Charlie.

“So how have you been-” Vaggie didn’t even get to finish her sentence before Charlie was full on sobbing.

“I I miss them and and the others miss them and we still can’t find Viktor!”

“Which is totally okay. Its not your fault that they’re gone and Logan is out there everyday looking for Viktor.”

“I I know but but I feel like it is my my fault and we’ve heard nothing fro from heaven.” Vaggie set down the clipboard Charlie had handed to her and the start and sat beside Charlie to hug her.

“One step at a time. We’ve got this.”

No one was really handling the situation well but that was to be expected.

One Month after the Extermination

Things at the hotel had picked up significantly! Once word of the stopped extermination had really gotten around sinners from all around gathered to the hotel. Unfortunately it wasn’t for redemption but rather to kill angels.

Angel, Hust, Crowley, Aziraphale, and Cherry bomb were all at the bar. Alastor had been there but then he disappeared to presumably mess with Lucifer who had decided to stay at the hotel.

“Who knew the hotel would get so popular. I didn’t think people would be this interested in redemption.” Angel Dust pet Fat Nuggest who was on the counter.

“I’m not sure thats why they’re here.” Husk knew sinners and these weren’t the ones that seemed interested in redemption.

“It would be very nice if they were though.” Aziraphale was currently enjoying a drink Angel Dust had named a “harder daddy”. It was an odd name but a nice drink.

“Theres a bit to much murderous intent in the air for it to be all innocent though. But we can certainly hope.” Crowley wasn’t hopeful but he didn’t want to crush Aziraphales hopes.

“Hey have you guys seen Charlie? Theres a bunch of reporters asking fucked up questions.” Vaggie or lets try Vanasasia had just flown over to ask this. Recently she had been trying out new names with varying levels of success.

“I think I saw her in the lounge. She’s been keeping Pentious’s little egg company.” Angel dust said the last part with sadness. Only one egg had survived the extermination.

“Thanks.”

“Uh when you see her can you ask her if she’s still up for the therapy session today? I’m kinda getting into talking about my feelings and junk.” Charlies idea of therapy had worked decently well for some even if others refused to try it.

“Of course.” Vaxxy flew off to go find Charlie. Cherri bomb had also left to go stare at the Sir Pentious portrait that had been made. There was also a Jakie one to the right of it but that wasn’t what Cherri was contemplating.

“I’m going to go check on Cherri. Husk can have two harder daddys to go?” Husk nodded and quickly whipped up two drinks for Angel and passed them to him. Angel Dust then walked over to Cherri.

“I’m glad Angel has a friend he can relate to. Even if she isn’t officially staying at the hotel.”

“Are you not also Angel Dust friend?” Aziraphale certainly would have assumed they were.

“Oh well I mean I am his friend.”

“Pardon me for saying but are you just his friend? I thought by the way things were going you two would have been a thing by now.” Logan had returned from his daily search for Viktor.

“Well thats frankly none of your business. Besides don’t you have enough relationship issues of your own to deal with?” Husk handed Logan a bottle of straight liquor.

“We’re not in a relationship. Especially not when he keeps talking in the most obnoxious way possible.” Logan then proceeded to empty the bottle of liquor. His drinking had been by far the worse of the bunch since the extermination.

“You guys basically coparented two humans with these two so not together my ass.” Logan didn’t respond to Husk words and instead left to go who knows where.

Charlie had just come down from the second floor after Veggie mite had retrieved her. Not only was she amazed by the sheer amount of sinners but she had also run into a particularly interested sinner named Baxter.

“I am here to study this fascinating concept of redemption. My hypothesis is that it’s impossible.” Well maybe no interested for the right reasons either but at least he’s not trying to be murderous?

“Okay well-”

The awthor asks that yoUwU either wisten tu owr watch da swong Hazbin Guarentee now. Thank you so much Deadpool for helping me queue it up. Here we go!

Come on in, here's your key⭐
Let me take your bag, wait 'til you see⭐
The hotel, CAUSE ITS GREAT⭐
If you parked your car, we'll validate⭐
All our guests are family⭐
Hey, perv, hands off the chest fluff🕷️
That's the Hazbin guarantee⭐
And did I mention it's free?⭐
It's worth the price📻
Al, be nice🎀
Full of drunks🃏
Full of cunts💣
Full of sticky floors covered in junk🗡️
Ha, don't mind them⭐
No one does🕷️
Or that hole⭐
Ugh, Cherri🎀
What?💣
You've made a great choice to save your soul⭐
'Cause redemption is possible, I really, really hope⭐
'Cause if it isn't, then my whole life's been a fuckin' joke⭐
And my friends died for no reason and I'm never gonna cope⭐
From watching them get FUCKING MURDERED right in front of me last month⭐
What?🐟
There's a bar⭐
What the shit?🃏
Have a beer⭐
I don't drink🐟
I just know you're gonna love it here⭐
We can live in harmony⭐🎀
No, I can't make a fucking Mai Tai🃏
That's the Hazbin guarantee⭐🎀
Now repeat after me⭐
I'm checkin' in⭐
(I'm checkin' in)🌈
I'm seekin' guidance⭐
(I'm seekin' guidance)🌈
Come on, everybody⭐
For my reckonin'⭐
(For my reckonin')🌈
I'll never turn to violence⭐
(I'll never turn—)🌈
I'm checkin' in⭐
(I'm checking in)🌈
I'm seekin' guidance⭐

Unfortunately for Charlie interest was being lost with every verse.

That place sucked ass🌈
Psst, hey, you📺
Who? Me?🌈
That's right, baby📺
Redemption got you snoring? That scene was fucking boring📺
Have you considered a vocation that is more rewarding?📺
Because I sense a drop of star potential📺
With a little boost, that drip could turn TORRENTIAL📺
Come on down to Vee Tower where we help talent flower👗
No tellin' how hot you could get once you're backed by our power❤️
Let's start with a killer fit, let's get filler in those lips👗
Wax that gooch and pull that strip❤️
A-snip, snip, snip❤️👗
Ooh, all of Hell's gonna want you❤️👗
In this game, no one outdoes us❤️👗
No one can outbuzz us❤️👗
All you gotta do is trust us📺❤️👗
(La-la-la) Just us📺❤️👗
(La-la-la) Trust us📺❤️👗
Take all these starring roles📺
We trademarked all your holes❤️
There's no such thing as being totally over-exposed📺❤️
Except now they're sick of you 'cause they've seen way too much👗
But we'll still get the clicks from souls who hate you👗
Scratch that, they changed the channel📺
And we can't sell the scandal📺
Hope you had fun, but we are done with you📺
Your run is cancelled📺
We're finished, I'm not kidding📺
Get the fuck out of my building📺
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY BUILDING📺
Snip, snip, snip, bitch❤️👗
Ooh❤️👗
But if you know someone new❤️👗
Tell 'em that no one outdoes us❤️👗
No one can outbuzz us❤️👗
All they gotta do is—📺❤️👗
Come on in⭐
(Come on down to Vee Tower)📺❤️👗
Here's your key⭐
And see how great your afterlife could be⭐📺❤️👗
We can live in harmony⭐
Why be nice when you can be famous?❤️👗
That's the Hazbin⭐
Sign and cash in📺❤️👗
Guarantee⭐
Yeah, right, bitch📺
Trust me, just me📺
Trust—📺
Us, no, I—📺
I meant to say us📺
Uh-huh👗
Yeah, okay❤️

Charlie had thought that this song would get her point across but unfortunately that did not seem to be the case in the slightest. As instead of being enthusiastic she was bombarded by questions about killing angels.

“Aw man Charlie isn’t looking to good under pressure.”Angel had returned to the bar and so had Alastor.

“Alastor shouldn’t you be helping her?” Husk thought Alastors interest in the hotel would have meant helping Charlie more.

“Should I? Perhaps. Will I? No. Do I enjoy being difficult? Most definitely.” Crowley hadn’t really gotten to know Alastor very much but it seemed like every interact he saw Alastor have with others just made him seem like more and more of a dick.

Luckily for Charlie Lucifer was able to step in and help get her away from the crowd. Alastor also fucked off to who knows where but now Wade joined at the bar.

“Hello Wade.” Aziraphale was one of the only ones who cared to acknowledge him.

“Hewwo.” Husk gave Wade a drink before he could even order so he wouldn’t have to hear him order.

After some chatting Charlie returned and set firm boundaries with the press and sinners. Unfortunately that meant many sinners chose to leave the hotel. But luckily it seemed Baxter chose to stay.

Shorter after this while Charlie and Varmilla was watching the TV only to see the Vees had spun the story of her politely asking any sinners not interested in redemption to leave into her yelling at them to leave or die. Which was infuriating but Vanny was there to help her calm down and went to go get Charlie a harder daddy. It just so happens at this very moment Charlie got a visitor.

“CHARLIE!” It was Emily.

“Emily!?”

“Sorry I don’t have much time. Heavens going into lockdown cause you know Adam was killed but now Sera is worried about Hell wanting revenge and Heaven doesn’t want anymore death but is really scared of whats going to happen next. Anyway long story short Pentious was redeemed and he is in Heaven now. Yay! But don’t worry I’ll be back as soon as I can but yes you’re hotel totally works Congratulations bye!” Emily then disappeared through the portal she came from.

“AHHHHHHHH-”

It seems things at the hotel were just getting interesting.

Chapter Text

One Month after the Extermination

Things in heaven had been busy since the arrival of Sir Pentious. Meetings nonestop about what to do with him that seem to get nowhere. Talks of the extermination that lead to no final decision. Meetings weren’t enough and so an official court date had been decided.

“I would have thought heaven would have been more efficient in their decision making.” Viktor wasn’t happy about the Sir Pentious situation. He still blamed him for Jakies death and had been training every day with Lute to be one of the exorcists.

“It would be if Sera would do the right thing.” Lute had been less than pleased with the results.

“Surely she will. I mean you’ll be there and they’ll listen to the head of the exorcists right?” Viktor had been one of the few in fact the only person who had been directly supportive of Lute this past month.

“They didn’t listen to Adam when he was still here.” Viktor reached out and put a hand on Lutes shoulder.

“All the more reason they should listen to you.” Lute stepped out of the touch to pace a bit.

“But maybe they’d listen to me if they saw more people were on my side.”

“Surely many other exorcists are.”

“The exorcists may follow my orders but I can tell they doubt me. They don’t think I can lead like he did.” Lute stopped pacing. “But recently I was thinking since I was made head exorcist I haven’t yet appointed a new Lieutenant and a Lieutenant should be someone I trust and know will help me on my mission. While you still struggle with flying you fight harder and have more passion then any of the others. So I was wanting you to be my new Lieutenant and to join me at the trial.” Viktor walked in front of Lute putting on his Exorcist Helmet that he had been given and got down on one knee in front of her holding out his sword.

“I would be honored.” Lute hadn’t expected the gesture. Was this how Adam felt when she swore loyalty to him? It was a very warm feeling.

“Then you will accompany me to the trial and help me plead my case.”

“Yes sir.” Viktor stood back up but he didn’t take off his Helmet. “I do have a question. Are we going to tell them I’m the new Lietenant? If so how much are we going to tell them?”

“I will inform them of your promotion and if they have further questions I’ll answer it. Its still best they aren’t aware of who you are as it’d only make things more complicated. Especially if the snake recongizes you.”

“Yes sir.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I just want to show that I’m taking my responsibility serious.” Lute smiled and it was her turn to put a hand on Viktors shoulder.

“Then you may continue. But you are my right hand so that means you’re allowed to address me by name.”

“And I’m glad to get to be your right hand. Lute.” Lute pulled her hand away abruptly. That was a warmer feeling that usual and she wasn’t sure if she liked it. Her thoughts should be focused on the trial, leading the exorcists, and avenging Adam.

“Now we must get going. I’ll fly us nearby but its best I’m not seen carrying you. I don’t want them to mistake it as me coddling you.” Lute put on her own helmet in preparation to leave.

“Understood.”

Lute had gotten used to flying Viktor around in the past month. Though they had made some progress on him flying on his own once he got more then a couple feet off the ground he would freak out and fall. But Lute could hardly hold it against him. She still had nightmares about Adams death and was lucky that when she woke up she didn’t have to be alone with her thoughts.

Lute set Viktor down behind a building that was near the building they had to go to. They walked the rest of the way except for the one point where Viktor just had to fly straight up without looking down to land next to Lutes seat in the room. He was able to do it but just barely. She sat down in the chair while he stood by next to her.

Viktor did just fine with heights when he had firm ground underneath him and he looked around the area in wonder.

“Heaven is so beautiful.” He marveled at all the different angels as well. He’d only seen other exorcists during his time in heaven he didn’t realize there was so much variety.

“It is.”

After a bit of looking around the Seraphim along with Sir Pentious finally arrived. Which immediately caused a giant stir as it seemed a lot of heaven hadn’t been informed of Sir Pentious arrival. Many angels were questions everyone and everything.

“We shouldn’t be worried about this! We should be making things right! We need to make things right! We need to go down and talk to Charlie!” Lutes claws dug into her metal arm hearing that while Viktor glared down at Sir Pentious. Neither happy at Emilys argument.

“What is the meaning of this Sera?” One of the angels asked.

“You commanded an extermination of Hell and kept it from us? How long has this been going on?” Another questioned.

“This extermination has always been wrong! We bear some of that responsibility!” Viktors wings flared up in anger and he looked to Lute who held up a hand and he returned back to a more neutral stance.

“Now the demons have managed to kill the leader of our army? What if hell wants vengance on us now?” Many of the angels were question everything.

“Will the morningstar return?”

“Wh Wha What was it? I I don’t- A A Adam? but but dead? Should be? I don’t know really-” Not only were the angels questioning everything but they were scared.

“A sinner has made it to Heaven? How is this possible?”

“Was this redemption?”

“You told us that souls were decided. That nothing could change that. We trusted your word that this could never happen.” Then with a burst of holy light Sera got all the attention back on her.

“It can’t! You demon how did you get here?” Sir Pentious stuttered in response.

“How did you get here? You had to have forced your way in! Was it the Morningstar? How did you get past the gate? Peter! Did you let him in?” Sera turned an accusatory gaze to the angel named peter who was sat beside another angel.

“Uhh.” Peter looked around before holding up his hands. “I swear to the speaker I did not let him in.”

“Sera he didn’t force his way in. We both saw it he ascended. He was redeemed!” Emily was interrupted by Sera.

“Don’t. Don’t say it. Emily. Please. We need…” Emily took her sisters hand showing she wanted to support her. “We need answers!” Lute decided now was the time to talk.

“We don’t need answers we need action. He killed Adam! Thats an act of war we need to go down and-”

“Lute. Silence.” Lute stood up.

“This is the room of the speaker and I will use my voice!” Viktor flared his wings again standing behind Lute to show his support. “With all due respect Seraphim I was right about them. Adam was right about them! This demon filth is not to be trusted!” Lute had started flying but Viktor remained on the ground ready to jump in if she signaled for him to do so. “He and his kind should all be dead and I will make that happen. Just let me-” Lute drew her sword and Viktor mimicked her. But Lute was again interrupted, this time by the angel that sat next to peter.

“Hi! Can I cut in? Uh hi hello Abel here son of Adam, rest in peace. Um, as much as I’d like to honor my dearly departed dad, I really just wanted to say-”

“Shut up Abel. Adam didn’t even fucking like you.” Oh wow that was new. Viktor didn’t realize Adam had a son but if he was this useless then Viktor also didn’t like him.

“I know.” Abel sounded a bit defeated. “But facts aside, I think it might be good to stay on subject, of this colorful snake thing.” Viktor and Lute continued glaring at Abel.

“Yeah! This is about Sir Pentious.” Of course Emily agreed with him.

“Fine.” Sera flew up and eyes all along her form opened. “Tell us, how did you get here, demon?” Sir Pentious hissed in response being defensive.

Thats when a light even more heavenly than when Sera had used it showed and a beautiful angel appeared. Clearly of a higher rank. Her presences was comforting almost like that of a mother.

“Sera calm yourself.” She then flew down to Sir Pentious. “My dear child, please tell us your story.” She magiced away the chains holding Sir Pentious and cupped his face.

“U Um well- I I don’t um. I’m not much of a storyteller you know and and I don’t uh I don’t know how I got here- Miss… Who are you?” Sir Pentious was rightfully very confused.

“I’m known as the speaker of god.” So that was the speaker. Viktor couldn’t help but stare at her. Looking at her reminded him of how he felt when he was with Jakie. Calm, happy, and content. But it didn’t last long.

“Now tell your story.”

Sir Pentious began to tell the story of his life. How he was an inventor and liked to watch people. How he witnessed a crime and who had comitted it but did nothing. How his inaction allowed the death of five more and he still did nothing. He was now crying.

“I carried that guilt to my grave and I ended up in Hell. And I deserved it.”

“So why are you here now my child?” The speaker was patient and kind.

“I don’t know! My friends… My friends were in danger. Cherri was in danger! I had to do something. This time I would do something.” Viktor felt his blood boil recalling that Sir Pentious had done something. Something so reckless and useless it got Jakie killed.

“He was redeemed.” Sera said softly.

“Thank you for telling us your story, my child.” It seemed Lute was equally as angry as she bolted up.

“No! You are not really buying this shit? He was a spineless coward who let people be murdered! But then he attempts a murder himself and he wins a ticket to heaven? Bullshit!”

“You acted selfless. You cared more for the lives of others than your own and made the ultimate sacrifice. You were able to atone, you are a cleansed soul. A free soul. You have nothing left to fear here.” Viktor was supposed to be there to support Lute but he felt like yelling and screaming at the other angels to understand.

“It seems that this soul has atoned for the sins of his life, his past. He comes to us a soul who understands and was willing to overcome. Heaven welcomes you Pendleton.”

“Oh I don’t use that name anymore. You can call me Sir Pentious, your highness.”

“I cannot believe this!” Lute flew up to the Speaker. “Your highness I know you are wise. Far beyond me, but this beast came from the dark pit, sent by the princess of hell herself. We cannot fall for his lies!”

“I sense no lies.” The speaker stated firmly.

“He was under the command of the Morningstar, the first fallen angel, and his daughter. It was her who called for redemption and then somehow found it through the death of one of us. That cannot mean nothing to you!” Viktor fueled by rage flew and hoved next to Lute ready to defend her.

“Or he was redeemed.” It seemed Sera had made up her mind.

“I- Sera!” Lute flew over to Sera and Viktor followed. “You know more than anyone here how much Hell has tried to gain power for an uprising. It’s only a matter of time. Adam knew it and now he’s dead! As head of Heavens exorcist army I-”

“As what?” The Speaker seemed confused at that.

“As head of-” And Abel interrupts again.

“Um hey Lute. Sorry to interrupt but I think I’m actually the new head of the exorcists. Sorry.”

“What?” Lute and Viktor yelled together.

“Abel is Adams son. Plus we felt he’d handle this situation more… fairly.” Emily always undermining Lutes authority

“Thats Bullsh-” Viktor started

“But I was his right hand!” Lute felt betrayed.

“Yeesh thats got to sting.” Peter wasn’t very nice.

“Shut up Peter you’re just a glorified mascot!” Lute wanted to tear something apart but this was neither the time or places for that.

“Yeah shut up Peter!” Viktor was feeling more and more confident being vocal the more he felt like Lute was being oppressed.

“At least I wasn’t just demoted! Oh! Get dunked on!” How immature. Lute threw her sword which landed next to his head as intended.

“Your Majesty please!” Lute took off her helmet. “I cannot hold my tongue when I have seen firsthand the destruction the demons have caused us. The threat they pose. I have lost so much. I have endured. I am willing to give my life for Heaven to stop those filthy fucking monsters.” Viktor wanted to reach out to Lute but instead he remained dutifully by her side to angry to think about how far he’d fall if he stopped flying.

“Lute this is a sign that Charlie was right! That redemption is possible!” Did Emily know when to quit?

“Don’t you dare. What is wrong with all of you? They hit us back and we just pussy out? We need to go down and-”

“Lute enough!” Sera again briefly showed a glimpse of a more mighty form. “You will not address the Speaker like that.”

“Your highness, you know why you allowed the exterminations. Because you knew Hell was a threat. Now they know they can bring down an archangel.”

“Please we’ve already lost so much.” Lute hadn’t even noticed that Viktor had remained by her side this whole time let alone that he was flying just to remain doing so. She felt oddly touched by the gesture.

“Now heaven is in very real danger and you-” Sera reached out and put a hand on Lutes shoulder.

“Lute this changes things.” Lute slapped Seras hand away and Viktor came up put his own hand on Lutes shoulder pulling her back a bit while glaring at Sera through his helmet.

“It changes nothing! Some slimy fucker ticks fate into allowing him here, it means nothing!”

“It means everying, Lute.” Sera started flying closer and Lute and Viktor backed up in response. Viktors hand slipping from Lutes shoulder. “This ends now. There will not be anymore blood on my hands-”

“But-” Lute tried to speak

“It has been decided!” Sera eventually pushed them so far that they were back on the ground again. This Sir Pentious is here and so he is a soul in our care. Emily please take him, tend to him.” Emily was more than enthusiastic at this. “Abel stand by please for what our next action will be regarding your fathers death.” Everyone took this as they were dismissed at started leaving the room on mass. Viktor looked to Lute who was barely holding back her anger.

When Sera landed she took note of Lute and sighed.

“Please don’t Lute.”

“Please you know I’m right deep down! Please Seraphim I already spoke to Lillith. She-”

“Lillith?” Was that almost disgust in Seras tone when hearing the name?

“Yes! Please! I told her to go down there and stop her bitch daughter-”

“You had no authority!” Sera again stepped towards Lute backing her into the wall.

“She was doing was was best as the head exorcist-” Viktor stepped in front of Lute he just wanted them to see reason.

“I don’t know who you are but Lute is no longer in charge and will remain the lieutenant. The decisions are mine and mine alone to make. Call off any of your plans and report to Abel or it will be seen as treason. Do you understand?” Lute put her exorcist helmet back on.

“Yes.” Lute growled.

“Dismissed.” Lute stormed off angry making sure to grab her sword on the way out. Viktor did his best to keep up.

Lute angrily stormed through crowds of winners losing Viktor in the process but she was to angry. Even shoving some winners aside before pulling to the side in an alleyway. She yanked off her helmet to freely breath as she sobbed. She felt sick to her stomach. None of the Seraphim were listening to her and Adam was gone. She missed Adam. Even with the helmet off she could barely breathe as she sobbed. She felt so angry. She lashed out and punched the wall with her metal arm as hard as she could watching it crack under the force.

“Wow someones menstruating.”

“Adam?” But Lute saw Adam die didn’t she? She rushed forward to go to him. “You’re alive?” Only for him to appear behind her.

“Oh, no. No, I’m in your head. Guess you missed me that much, huh? You crazy bitch.” The phantom Adam booped Lute.

“Nobody is listening to me!”

“What? Lame! Do they know that I uh died?”

“They don’t care.”

“Well thats some real bullshit.” The phantom Adam was mimicking Lutes anger but thats what Adam would have actually done right?

“I know.”

“Well I guess its up to you then.” Lute took that as an order.

“Yes sir. It is.” Lute walked out of the alleyway and saw Viktor looking lost and trying to talk to some of the winners. Probably to find her. He’s never been on his own in Heaven besides when he first got here. Lute was angry sure but Viktor has done all he can to support her she shouldn’t have left him alone after all he’s probably feeling equally as angry as her.

“Lute!” Viktor spotted her and ran to her taking off his helmet. “Lute we will. We will find a way we will make them listen-”

“Vi-Vadam.” Best not to risk the name in public. Lute held up a hand and he stopped talking. He actually listened to her. When no one else would he also tried to defend her to a Seraphim. “I am no longer the head exorcist so that means you are no longer the lieutenant. I will not force you to join me in this fight. You. You deserve to enjoy your reward for living a good life-”

“How can I enjoy my reward knowing he’s up here? She died because of his actions and he gets to be up here. And you’re right Hell will probably try something and we are the line of defense to stop them. I do not care if you are not the head exorcist I will remain by your side until we have made them all pay.” Viktor reached out only to decide against the physical touch however Lute reached out and grabbed his hand.

“Then you and I will fight to make things right.”

“Wow you got yourself a little knight in shinning armor. Thats cute.” The phantom Adam commented but Lute didn’t respond. She didn’t want to worry Viktor.

“Yes sir.” Viktor put his helmet back on.

“Now I need to visit Adams office. Then we will talk about our next steps.”

Lute picked up Viktor and flew to the building she wanted to go to. She set him down outside the entrance.

“Wait here for me.”

“Understood.” Lute felt a bit uneasy leaving Viktor alone out here but she had to deal with this on her own.

As she walked through the hall she felt herself getting riled up again. When she got to Adams office she scratched the plaque out front and burst in. Why did it get so hard to breathe sometimes? She threw a rock at one of the display cases. Tears welled up in her eyes and she began to cry again.

“Hey miss Lute? Can I call you that?” Abel really did have poor timing. “Sorry to uh interrupt your uh freaky in the dark time. I was hoping to maybe get one of my dads old guitars you know? To remember him by?”

“Get out.”

“Sorry?” Lute flew up to Abel and snatched the guitar from his hands swinging it at him.

“GET OUT!”

“Woah! Right. Yes Uh I’m leaving. Sorry. I’m leaving. I’m out.” Abel left the room.

“You know I never liked that kid.” Phantom Adam appeared again.

“He’s weak.” Lute certainly despised him. His kindness wasn’t a strength.

“Major pussy, not the good kind.” All the things real Adam would say. Or at least what Lute thought he’d say.

“And now I have to answer to him. He’s nothing like you.” She smashed the guitar she was holding into the wall.

“Ouch yeah that fucking sucks.” Lute picked up the strings from the broken guitar.

“I never got to tell you that-”

“You think I didn’t already know?” Lute looked to Adam surprised.

“Did you?” Had Adam known this whole time just how much she cared?

“No fucking idea.” The ghost walked through her “If you don’t know I don’t know babe.” How cruel to speculate on such things with no actual answer. “So what you gonna do about it?”

“I’m going to kill every last one of them.”

Does no one know who they're dealin' with?⚔️
Think I'll let it go? Forget and forgive?⚔️
The rage in me⚔️
(Yeah?)🎸
is terminal⚔️
(Yeah?)🎸
There's no remedy⚔️
(Yeah?)🎸
but to burn 'em all⚔️
I still got a job to do, my mission's incomplete⚔️
Only a traitor could consider making peace⚔️
The princess has to pay🎸⚔️
For what she did that day🎸⚔️
For what she took away⚔️
Storm's comin', I can see the clouds🎸⚔️
No runnin's gonna save you now🎸⚔️
And hard rain is gonna fall down like gravity🎸⚔️
Like gravity🎸⚔️
Eye for an eye says you owe me a debt⚔️
Blood demands blood, gonna get my hands wet⚔️
The flood's comin', now you can bet on tragedy🎸⚔️
Like gravity🎸⚔️
You think you're Hell's great savior⚔️
Will you still when I return the favor?⚔️
Take the one you need, make you watch 'em bleed⚔️
Will you break thinkin' how you couldn't save her?⚔️
Wishin' you were there when they needed you⚔️
The only soul who's ever completed you⚔️
Maybe then, you'll get a little heated too⚔️
And understand why this is what I need to do⚔️
Storm's comin', I can see the clouds⚔️
No runnin's gonna save you now🎸⚔️
And hard rain is gonna fall down like gravity🎸⚔️
Like gravity🎸⚔️
Eye for an eye says you owe me a debt (Yeah)🎸⚔️
Blood demands blood, gonna get my hands wet⚔️
(Get your hands wet)🎸
The flood's comin', now you can bet on tragedy🎸⚔️
Like gravity🎸⚔️

Abel had attempting to come back in but one glare from Lute sent him running right back out again. Lute took a deep breath. This helped a bit if only slightly.

“Now lets get back to your boy toy he’s not nearly as depressing as this place is.” It seemed this phantom Adam was quite persistent.

“You know he’s not my “boy toy” but you are right its best he isn’t left alone to long.”

“Oh he’s not? You seem pretty damn attached to him. I mean who wouldn’t he’s not useless and he’s got a spine but also a loveable soft spot that doesn’t get annoying. I mean going as far as to basically name him after me is a bit of a stretch but I see the vision.” Lute just ignored Adam as she walked through the halls and back out the building to where Viktor had remained.

“Lute I had something I need to ask of you.”

“What is it you need.”

“Oooo maybe he’s gonna ask you to be his girlfriend. Or just ask to fuck you never know.” Thank you Adam your commentary is so appreciated.

“I need you to take me to the tallest building in Heaven. To the very top as high as you can get me.” That was unexpected.

“Why?”

“I tried to fly when you were in there and I still couldn’t. I know I can but it doesn’t help us if I can only fly when I’m to distracted to think about it. So I’ve decided today is the day I’m going to fly. I am going to be a worthy right hand.”

“Oh shit this bitch is a simp. Such sappy words all for a woman. But hey I can’t judge you for liking what you like. At least he’s actually being a useful simp.” Lute continued to ignore Adam.

“I can do that.” For assumedly the last time Lute scooped up Viktor and flew him to one of the tallest buildings in Heaven setting him down at the top.

“So is he just gonna like jump or what?” Adams question was a fair one to ask.

“Whats your plan to fly?”

“I was thinking if I jump and you don’t catch me that I’d have to fly.”

“Oh my god that crazy bastard.” Phantom Adam slurped on an equally phantom drink.

“Are you sure? You could get really hurt.” Viktor took off his helmet and handed it to Lute.

“If I don’t how many more people will get hurt? If Hell invades we have to be prepared and I have to fly.”

“Are you sure this won’t make things worse?” If Viktor got injured its possible he would be able to fly even less than he already does.

“I I…” Viktor was quiet for a moment before he decided to explain things in a way fitting of heaven. In song. I request you play the song “Gravity” by Neoni please and thank you.

Reality's a scam, nothing goes to plan🛩️
Say, "Are you doing fine?"🛩️
I don’t think I am🛩️
And when I try to stand, it's like I'm buried in the sand🛩️
Feel the crushing weight of everything I🛩️
Haven't yet accomplished🛩️
While heaven just fucking watches🛩️
I can hear the angels talking🛩️
They say they will do what's right until you try🛩️
Then they start asking why🛩️
No one wants to talk about gravity, catastrophe🛩️
Or how far happy ever after seems🛩️
Just shiny things and wildest dreams🛩️
Not what it takes to get 'em, actually🛩️
And I know I'm gonna get there🛩️
Didn't think that I'd be this scared🛩️
Half of me is tragedy🛩️
But no one wants to talk about gravity🛩️
My life doesn’t look like a perfect picture🛩️
I can still hear her voice my mind's tormenter🛩️
How can I continue when there's no life with her?🛩️
I lie in the nest thinking bout where I stand in the🛩️
Heavenly scheme of things🛩️
What does my life even mean?🛩️
No hopes and shattered dreams🛩️
Is that all that I'm gonna be?🛩️
No one wants to talk about gravity, catastrophe🛩️
Or how far happy ever after seems🛩️
Just shiny things and wildest dreams🛩️
Not what it takes to get 'em, actually🛩️
I know I'm gonna get there🛩️
Didn't think that I'd be this scared🛩️
Half of me is tragedy🛩️
But no one wants to talk about gravity🛩️

Then he jumped.

Gravity☕

Falling and Falling.
Gravity☕

Images of Jakies death constantly flashing.

Gravity☕

Falling towards the ground

(Wants to talk about, 'bout, 'bout...)☕
(G-G-Gravity)☕
(Gravity)☕

But then finally Viktor extended his wings and flew.

No one wants to talk about gravity, catastrophe🛩️
Or how far happy ever after seems🛩️
Just shiny things and wildest dreams🛩️
Not what it takes to get 'em, actually🛩️
I know I'm gonna get there🛩️
Didn't think that I'd be this scared🛩️
Half of me is tragedy🛩️
But no one wants to talk about gravity🛩️

Viktor soared over heaven no longer seeing the moments before his death. It was a comfort and a bit of a sadness to finally be free of it. Lute quickly caught up to Viktor and flew alongside him.

“You did it! You can fly all on your own.”

“I did! Now I can be a proper exorcist and I can avenger her.” The two flew in silence for a bit and technically Phantom Adam can’t break the silence since he doesn’t exist but that doesn’t stop him.

“So are you guys a thing now?”

Before Lute could say anything whether to quietly hush Adam or talk to Viktor a glow of gold suddenly encompassed the entirety of heaven. The shields had been raised closing Heaven off from the other realms.

“Whats that?” Viktor had never seen anything like it.

“They’ve closed Heaven off.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“Perhaps.” While it meant Heaven would be safer it also meant not exterminations would be happening until further notice.

The wheels in Heavens cogs were spinning and so where the ones in Hell. A storm is coming and everyone can feel it.

Chapter Text

Charlie couldn't believe it! Sir Pentious was alive? Heaven is ready to listen? But they're going into lockdown? Oh and she didn’t even get to ask about Viktor! But that could wait because she had to tell everyone the great news!

“Guys Holy Shit! Holy Fuck! Emily just apeared to me in office with portal.” Charlie was talking so fast she could barely breathe. Vaggie went to her side to try to calm her down and make sense of what she was saying. When she was able to speak she told everyone what Emily told her which included the fact that Pentious is in heaven. Charlie was so thrilled about it that she also ran out as soon as she had run in while Angel Dust tried to call after her.

“Wait! Did she say anything about Vikt- oh she’s long gone.”

“This is wonderful news!” Aziraphale was so glad to hear that the beloved snake had made his way to heaven. For his sacrifice he certainly deserved it.

“I’m not sure I trust it.” Crowley wasn’t trying to ruin the mood but Charlie had been under a lot of stress lately. Besides Heaven hadn’t been so willing to cooperate before so why now?

“I think we could use some drinks as we process this.” Husk said being the first to get up and head to the bar. The rest of course followed him.

“I mean I guess good for Pentious.” Husk said after taking a sip of his drink.

“Yeah but we don’t even know what this means. And it makes sense that Pentious being there would make a bigger splash then Viktor since he wasn’t an actual demon but its worrying to think he still hasn’t turned up.” Angel Dust really missed him. Not that he didn’t also miss Pentious but Viktor had been a bit like a younger sibling to him and he didn’t want to lose more family than he already had.

“Well I’m not sure I believe it. I mean Pentious in Heaven? I mean I guess he was a big softie but Heaven?” Cherri was obviously dealing with some very difficult emotions. “I guess maybe I didn’t really know the guy all that well?”

“Well that Baxter guy was talking about working with him in the past so if you had questions I’m sure you could ask him.” Husk couldn’t keep the smug look off his face which caused Cherri to frown.

“Well I’m just going to go get some air.” She stood up and walked off but Husk called after her.

“His room is in the basement!”

“I’m not fucking going!” Cherri says before she of course had to drop a bomb that just so happened to open up to the basement and dropped down the hole.

“Funny how much she pretends not to like the guy.” Husk chuckled.

“Sounds like you’re talking from experience.” Angel Dust couldn’t help himself. Husk had set it up so perfectly.

“Maybe I am.” Oh but Husk can dish it right back.

“YoUwU gwuys are cwute twogefer.” Deadpool you ruin everything.

“Why are you like this?” Husk wasn’t sure he even wanted the answer but Wade only shrugged in response anyways so he didn’t have to worry about getting one.

Some time later after Charlie had invited very bad people into the Hotel because she thinks if she just keeps explaining herself somehow she’ll clear up her reputation the group at the bar made their way downstairs. To find Charlie holding hands with the fucking Media overlord. No idea how Charlie thinks this will help.

“Woah woah what the fuck are they doing here?” Vaggie rightfully asked.

“Oh hey Vaggie I was just showing Vox and Velvette here how our confidential group venting sessions work.” Charlie no.

“Oh that is so great.” Vaggie said in a tone that did not make it sound great. “Hey can I borrow you for a sec?”

Vaggie then let Charlie know what a bad horrible bad idea this was while Charlie tried to defend herself before Angel Dust cut in.

“Charlie why are they here? You’re aware those two crazy fucks hang out with my shit-fuck boss Valentino? And are part of the Vees? And you still let them in here? Vox is probably broadcasting to Val! Oh fuck Fuck Fuck!” Angel was already going through enough emotions he didn’t need to go through even more. “Charlie listen to me I don’t know what they promised you but I’m telling you right now they’re bad fucking news. Horrible fucking news!”

Despite Angel Dust clear warning and Vaggies as well Charlie wasn’t exactly listening. Somehow believing that Vox was there with somewhat decent intentions. Then she explained how they were now supposed to redeem someone on camera. Which was not received well at all. In fact this whole thing is train wreck. Yes pun intended so why don’t we check on someone who isn’t at the hotel? Is iwt wute? No Deadpool shush I’m not that biased.

Logan had run this way a hundred times before but at this point he’d searched the whole ring a hundred times. A left here and right there a sinner impaled and a wall jumped here. It’d become routine at this point. He barely even stopped at the hotel anymore and when he did it was just to get more drinks. He hadn’t even chosen to so call “adopt” the two young humans. That was fucking Wades idea. But the they hadn’t deserved their fate and maybe if he had just been closer he could have done more. He could tried to do more. He knew Viktor wouldn’t have ended up in Hell the kid was to innocent but Jakie had come back from heaven for him. So why wasn’t Viktor coming back? Was he unable to? Was he mad at them for what happened? Logan wouldn’t blame him for it but he would have rather been yelled at for it then hear nothing. This radio silence was getting to him. Not only that but they had no way that he knew of to contact heaven and ask them.

Finally he he rounded a the last corner he planned to check for today. He wasn’t sure if he should be relieved he can take a small break or angry that it wasn’t working. Plus he might run into Wade when he got back and that relationship had already been rocky to begin with but now it was a bridge that was actively burning via flamethrower.

He made his way back to the hotel and when he did what he saw looked chaotic. Was that a goddamn train attached to the hotel? And that man with a TV head leaving the hotel didn’t he see him on TV spouting absolute nonsense? As he got inside he figured he could ask Charlie.

“Charlie-” He didn’t even get to finish his sentence.

“Logan! Oh my goodness I haven’t seen you in a while! So we have big news! Emily came down from heaven and told us that heaven is closing cause of Adams death but that Pentious was redeemed and-” For once Charlie was the one interrupted.

“And what of Viktor?”

“Oh um she was here so fast that I didn’t really get a chance to ask-”

“Seriously? So you had a chance to build a fucking train set and invite people over but asking one question wasn’t something you could do?” Logan knew Charlie could have a good reason for not asking but he’d watch this women fuck up and keep fucking up and he was getting tired of it.

“Well I wasn’t. I was just.” Logan walked away before she could finish. He needed a drink or two or ten. As he sat at the bar Husk served him a drink and just when he was getting comfortable an obnoxious someone sat next to him.

“SOwO how was-”

“Wade I’m not in the fucking mood.” He downed his drink in one go. “For once just don’t annoy me. You know this is all your fucking fault. I wouldn’t have cared about the kid if it wasn’t for your fucking insistance. Fuck you and fuck this hotel.”

“I-”

“You what Wade? You gonna say more shit in that fucking weird baby voice you’ve been doing for fucking months?”

“I’m sorry Logan.” Oh my god Deadpool you’re talking normally. Is that character development? Don’t make me regret it. Okay sorry sorry back to the story.

Logan was a bit stunned for a moment before he sighed. “I don’t think I can keep looking. Especially if theres a chance those angels will return I want to be here. So just. Don’t piss me off.”

“Aww Wolvie see I knew you cared.” Logan simply grunted in a way that said “don’t push it.” but this is deadpool.

“So do you wanna take this to the bedroo-” Logan took no time in stabbing Wade through the chest. “Yeah okay that was deserved.”

Perhaps when you hit rock bottom it is possible to go back up again. Even when things are struggling to look up.

Chapter Text

Lute woke up gasping for air. Another vivid nightmare about the last extermination. But she was awake now and she could just talk to Viktor and- wait where's Viktor? She looked around the whole room and when she saw nothing she got out of the nest and walked around.

“Viktor?” She called out but when she heard no response she moved to the balcony.

“Vadam!” She switched the name once outside. Now she struggled to call him Viktor instead of always calling him Vadam. “Vadam where are you?” In the past she couldn’t even be afraid of him flying away because of his fear but now that wasn't the case had he left? Had he left her to go back to hell? Would he leave her? No no he he wouldn't do that. Maybe he also had a nightmare and didn't want to bother her. Though he should know he can always go to her. Or maybe someone wanted to get revenge on her. A disgruntled exorcist could have taken him!

It didn't matter the reason as Lute was already soaring through the air calling for him.

“VADAM WHERE ARE YOU?” she struggled to breathe. He had never been this far from her since they first met. He shouldn't be this far from her! Where would he even go? He's only ever been in her room, or the boba shop a few times- he hadn't been- or had he? The room of the speaker? It was a long shot but she flew over to it and as she got closer she heard people talking.

“I didn't expect to see you here.” As Lute perched at the top she saw it was Sera speaking specifically to Vadam- Viktor. Hard to remember.

“I I'm sorry your highness- I- I will go-” Viktors helmet was off and it was clear he had been crying.

“You were the exorcist that accompanied Lute earlier.”

“I I was.” Viktor wasn’t sure if that was implied to be bad or not.

“What is your name?” Seras tone could almost be mistaken as accusatory.

“My name is Vadam.” Lute wanted to go down there and get him but further escalating the current conversation would not help.

“Adam was always… interesting with his names. Tell me we're you close with him?”

“No I never directly interacted with him-” Sera cut him off.

“But you're close with Lute?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“It happened after the extermination. We both lost someone very dear to us and so we begun to train together. We know how important it is to protect heaven.” Lute felt a surge of pride as Viktor spoke.

“If you want to protect heaven I advise you to speak to Lute and convince her that bloodshed isn't the answer.” So Sera wasn't just trying to talk. Whether Sera had tried to seek him out for this or had just taken to opportunity to was hard to tell but it didn't feel like a request.

“With the highest respect Seraphim I stand with Lute. I go where she goes I do as she says. If she says jump I will ask how high. I thought I lost everything in the last extermination but now she is my everything. I trust you are wise but I also think that she’s right. So I'm sorry to say but I cannot speak to her on your behalf.” Viktor had declared loyalty to Lute before but this was different. This was devotion. Lute felt all warm and fuzzy like how she'd felt with Adam but in a different way. Adam had never really shown Lute any affection back so to have to so freely given was just. She couldn’t even describe it.

“I'm glad you've found love after loss but my mind will remain unchanged for the time being.” Viktor didn't even get a chance to try to protest the word love before Sera flew off. Allowing Lute to dive down and grab Viktor by the back of his uniform and fly out of the court room.

“Don’t ever leave like that again! I thought you left or got kidnapped or worse!” Lute scolded him trying not to think about her feelings.

“I'm so sorry! I just wanted to blow off steam but I didn't want to wake you-”

“Always wake me!”

“I I'm sorry.” Viktor apologized again. He wasn't sure what else to say.

“I heard you and Sera talking.” Lute didn't want any secrets to be kept between them. She already made that mistake with Adam.

“Oh.” Though Lute couldn't see it Viktors face turned pink. “I got a little sappy…” The two arrived back to Lutes room where Lute set Viktor down on the balcony and landed in front of him.

“What you said meant a lot to me. I've never really had someone be so willing to follow me before. With Adam I was always following him. What I mean to say is.” Lute couldn't find the words. Or perhaps she knew them but wasn't ready to say them. She used one hand to cup Viktors face and rested her forehead against his. “I need you by my side. You believe in me you actually care about me. So please don't. Don’t go to far out of sight or out of arms reach.”

“I can do that.” Lute breathed a sigh of relief and released her hold on Viktor.

“Lets go back to sleep. We need to be well rested for tomorrow's meeting. I want you there with me and if they ask questions I'll answer them.”

“Yes sir.” Viktor then went and flopped down in his side of the nest. Lute followed but she removed the pillow divider and rested one wing on Viktor. Viktor looked to Lute obviously curious about the change.

“Its so if you get up I'll know.”

“But I promise I'll let you know if I'm up.”

“This will be faster.” Viktor didn't argue any further and simply snuggled into the nest and Lutes wing.

“Goodnight.” Viktor mumbled already closing his eyes.

“Goodnight.” How odd. Lute hadn’t seen phantom Adam today but perhaps he didn't want to intrude.

Chapter Text

“Rise and shine Bitch.” Lute oepend her eyes to be face to face with phantom Adam. “Did you and your totally not boyfriend sleep well?”

“If you keep implying things I’ll start ignoring you.” Lute whispered.

“I’m in your head. You can make me go away anytime you want. But admit it, you like having me around.” Lute remained silent at that. “Besides I have reason to imply things. Look how cozy he is.” Lute looked to Viktor who had remained wrapped in her wing. He certainly did look peaceful. “You should kiss the sleeping beauty.”

“I am not going to just kiss him without permission!” Lute was barely keeping her voice low as she was getting a bit flustered.

“So you do want to kiss him?” Smug wasn’t enough to describe Adams face right now.

“I did not-!” Lute flared up her wings in defense which startled Viktor.

“Hm? Do we need to go somewhere?” Viktor yawned and blinked slowly at Lute.

“No no I’m sorry for waking you. I was just startled by something.” Lute shot Adam a glare who just pointed to the two of them then made lewd gestures. God he could be so immature. Luckily Viktor didn’t notice Lute glaring at empty space.

“Do we have to get up now?”

“You can go back to sleep.”

“Are you going back to sleep?”

“No.”

“Then I won’t.” Viktor crossed his arms. He really didn’t need to be so stubbornly loyal but he was.

“Alright well today we should-” Wow this author sure seems to love having people be interrupted. SHUT UP DEADPOOL YOU AREN’T EVEN IN THIS SCENE.

“Hey Lute! I was dropping by to-” It was Emily but when she saw Viktor she seemed to get the wrong impression. Or the right one? Really depends on who you ask. “Oh I am so sorry I did not know I would be interrupting the two of you! We have decided to call a meeting in an hour because of some information we got so be there! Anyways bye now and you two are so cute!” Emily rushed out of the room as fast as she had barged in.

“Women have no respect for privacy.” Phantom Adam could have just said Emily but he just had to be a bit misogynistic.

“Why does everyone keep making assumptions! And have no respect for you!” Viktor was pissed off by Emilys sudden appearance.

“They’re Seraphim they’re above us.” Lute didn’t address the assumption part. Partly because that would be addressing a lot more than that but also because Lute was start to not mind the assumptions. In fact maybe that was the idea she wanted them to have. Less questions about why she kept Viktor around. I mean if Adam was basically rooting for it anyways-

“So you have to go to the meeting?” Lute understood that Viktor was asking if he could come with.

“You can come with. I’m sure the Seraphim won’t protest to it.” Lute figured it was the least they could do. They already stripped her of being the leader of the exorcists and refusing to take vengeance for Adams death. So if they complained she’d remind them that they owe her.

The two flew to the meeting where upon arrival they were shown a sphere that showed Charlie attempting to contact them. Luckily neither Seraphim directly brought up Viktors presence thought Emily did give the two of them a smirk.

“Sera we need to talk to her.” Deadpool here this dialogue will not be fully accurate to the show as the author has genuinely gotten tired of this fic to care about that. DEADPOOL GO BACK TO YOUR HUSBAND. FINE I WILL JESUS CHRIST SHOOT THE MESSENGER WHY DON’T YOU.

“I don’t think we should involve ourselves at this time. Hell has its own worries.” It was always the same argument with these two. Sisters am I right?

“I brought cookies!” Sir Pentious cheery mood was not received the best. Viktor in particular was lucky to have kept his helmet on to keep from being recongized but that didn’t stop him from glaring. Lute was also very displeased by this but on noticing Viktors reaction decided to try to give him some comfort by placing her hand on his and giving it a squeeze in a way to say “its okay I’m here.” before letting go. Of course both their hands were mainly hidden by the table so the rest of the group wouldn’t see such a sappy moment.

“Simp.” Phantom Adam had to say it.

“What is he doing here?” Lute was the first to talk.

“I invited him here.” Emily seemed all to pleased with herself. “I figured if anyone can give us more insight to this it’s him.”

“Well I’m not sure how much insight I can provide but I will do my best.” Sir Pentious’s new Eggbois floated around him happily.

“He can’t be here Emily. This is supposed to be a meeting with only the highest angels-” Sera didn’t even get that far before Emily countered her.

“Well I’m as high as you and I say he stays. Besides we already decided Lutes partner could be here so I don’t see why Pentious can’t be.”

“Oh I’m not-” Viktor felt it would be good to clear things up but Lute did not think that would help.

“What my partner is trying to say is we still think this is a bad idea.” Lute gave Viktor and look that she thought implied “just go with it” but Viktor thought it implied “We’re together and if you don’t want to be you can say so later” and Viktor didn’t really have any protest so he was now more in a stunned flustered silence.

“We owe Hell a massive apology and we need to make things right! I think we should go down there and talk to Charlie.”

“Oh maybe we can make gift baskets! Everyone likes gift baskets!” Abel suggestion was very Abel so of course Emily loved it.

“I am on it!”

“I’m not sure this is the best idea. How can they accept anything we say after all we’ve done to them?” Seras doubt was reasonable.

“Well your highness a wise women once told me it starts with “sorry”. So I think it’s worth a try” Sir Pentious quoted what Charlie had said to him all the time ago.

Emily and Abel had already opened a portal to hell with baskets in hand. Lute prepared to join them and Viktor was about to follow.

“You need to stay.” Lute told him quietly.

“But I go where you go and-” Viktor didn’t want to stay especially not with Pentious.

“It is not safe I- I already lost Adam and I could risk losing you too.”

“But what about you? Isn’t it a risk-” Lute placed both her hands on his shoulders.

“Vadam please. You know I have trained for this and I will be with the Seraphim. You on the other hand have to much history there. So please stay.”

“Yes sir.” Viktor said with a bit of defeat. Lute followed into the portal leaving Pentious and Viktor alone.

“So its just you and me.” Pentious somehow made it more awkward than it already was.

“It is.” Viktor knew Pentious didn’t recongize him and it made him angry that he didn’t know the pain he had caused him. Pentious just got to be up here having fun while Vitkor had to work to undo all the mistakes.

“So do you like cookies?” Pentious’s offer was kind but it just made Viktor more angry. Why did he have to stay here? Why couldn’t he be with Lute right now? She was all he had left anyways.

Viktor walked out of the room without saying anything as he felt anger and tears well up. He choose the nearest room which thankfully was empty to take off his mask in an attempt to breathe better. It didn’t help.

“Hey Deadpool again to break immersion but also not break immersion the author is having me tell you what to invision before the next song which is Bad Dream by Ruelle. Viktor will be frantically pacing and flying around the room like Lute did in gravity but without destroying anything. So keep that in mind.”

“Wade who the fuck are you talking to?”

“Wolvie you are breaking the immersion and the song is about to star-”

Feels like I'm falling🛩️
Into a world🛩️
Into a world🛩️
I can't control🛩️
I hear it calling🛩️
Down in my soul🛩️
Grippin' my bones🛩️
It won't let go🛩️
Wake me up🛩️
Won't you wake me up?🛩️
Caught in a bad dream🛩️
Caught in a bad dream🛩️
Wake me up🛩️
I wanna feel the sun🛩️
Caught in a bad dream🛩️
Caught in a bad dream🛩️
Feels like I'm frozen🛩️
Nowhere to run🛩️
Nowhere to run, from here🛩️
These walls are closing🛩️
Closing me in🛩️
Wearing me thin, with fear🛩️
Wake me up🛩️
Won't you wake me up🛩️
Caught in bad dream🛩️
Caught on a bad dream🛩️
Wake me up🛩️
I wanna feel the sun🛩️
Caught in a bad dream🛩️
Caught in a bad dream🛩️
Caught in a bad dream🛩️
Caught in a bad dream🛩️
Wake me up🛩️
Won't you wake me up🛩️
Caught in a bad dream🛩️
Caught in a bad dream🛩️

When the angels returned back to Heaven after the failure that trying to say sorry to hell had been they found Sir Pentious by himself.

“How did it-” Sir Pentious was hoping it had went well.

“Wheres Vadam?”

“Oh the other exorcist? He left through that door.” Lute didn’t stick around to talk more and went to go find Viktor. When she found him she found him crying again. God for what was supposed to be a reward there sure was a lot of sadness.

“Hey whats wrong?” Lute kneeled near him and he quickly latched onto her which was a surprise to her.

“I don’t want him here. He’s here and she’s not he just gets another fucking chance- and we won’t even try to avenge-”

“Hey hey deep breathes okay?” Lute gently stroked his head. “The peace meeting with Hell went as horribly as expected so I think they might listen to us now.” Viktor took deep breaths finding comfort in Lute smell.

“Yeah okay thats good.” Lute just held Viktor until his breathing was better.

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah. I’m glad you’re my partner.” Oh. Lute did not mean to convey that. Perhaps she should clear that up- oh and Phantom Adam is giving her a thumbs up. While she never got to tell Adam how she felt it shouldn’t keep her from how she currently feels. Besides Phantom Adam is in full support.

“Yeah I’m. I’m glad to.” Lute squeeze Viktor a bit tighter enjoying the moment. Until Phantom Adam had to ruin it.

“So are you guys going to fuck now?” Lute frowned at this but figured it was best to get Viktor back home.

“Lets head back. You look exhausted.” Lute let go of Viktor and the two flew back to what was now their home.

The two went to sleep and things were relatively peaceful. For now. But a storms coming and it won’t be long now.

Chapter Text

Things at the Hotel had gotten better and worse. After the whole situation with Vox in some parts of the hotel things were very tense but in others things had gotten better. For example when the angels had visited Charlie had managed to ask them about Viktor. They had no idea who he was but said they’d do their best to find him. So Wolverine wasn’t mad at Charlie anymore and had stopped trying to search all of hell every single day. However Charlie was now having a strained relationship with her father and Vanilia. Things were never quiet at the hotel.

“So Charlie and Vaggie are fighting?” Aziraphale repeated what Husk told him.

“Yeah and I figured since you and Crowley seem to know a thing or two about healthy communication that maybe you could help? Because I am not playing the therapist anymore.”

“I mean we’re still figuring it our ourselves but I can certainly try.” Aziraphale certainly didn’t want to see his friends more upset than what was already happening with the whole uprising situation.

“You’d think they’d have it more sorted out considering they’ve been together so long.” Crowley wasn’t meaning to take a jab at them but still. A couple should have better communication after how long they’ve been together right?

“Even married couples fight. I’d know being married to Wolvie.” Of course Wade has to chime in on relationship drama.

“What you and Logan do is a lot more than fight.” Husk had seen a lot of dysfunctional couples in hell but Wade and Logan certainly took the cake for “most dysfunctional”. After this comment Charlie came and flopped down at the bar.

“Husk do you think you could try being a therapist again? I know I’m supposed to do it but I’m just not feeling up to it today.” Charlie sounded tired.

“I told you Princess I’m done playing therapist. I ain’t good at it.” Husk poured Charlie a drink. “Maybe you should ask little miss can’t pick a fucking name. She’s the one running the place.”

“Hmm well I don’t want to speak to her right now. Besides she’s perfectly fine doing whatever she wants behind my back.” Vagamalala who happened to be nearby at the time walked up to the bar to dish out the same passive aggressiveness that Charlie had served.

“Well Husk if you see Charlie can you let her know I’ve been doing everything around the hotel already? So it’s not like it’ll make a difference.”

“Well Husk if you see Vaggie can you explain that hotel duties don’t include inciting a war?” And Charlie was ready to keep the argument going if it wasn’t for Husk having enough of it.

“Enough! I’m so fucking done with this petty high school bullshit! I’m out!” Husk then started storming out.

“Woah wait what?” Charlie didn’t think Husk would storm out over this. “No no no you can’t leave! The- the bar needs you!” Charlie tried to think of some reason to keep Husk around.

“Too bad. Alastors gone so I’m gone. I got no reason to stick around.”

“Hey what about Angel?” Cherri bomb who hadn’t said anything before felt she had to point out what Husk would also be leaving it he didn’t stay. This caused Husk to hesitate.

“What about him? He’s a grown up he doesn’t need me.” Husk left the hotel to go who knows where. Totally not where he’ll run into angel in fully jessica rabbit drag.

Charlie and Vetables continued to argue before everyone noticed that the TV was yet again playing more Vox nonsense. This ended in the resolution that Charlie and Veggie tales would go talk to Carmilla Carmine together in hopes of convincing her not to side with Vox. Like that will go well.

Well hours later and Charlie and Vaggie came back and this is when Azirphale decided that perhaps Husk was right and that Charlie could at least use a friend to talk to.

“Charlie?” He knocked on her room door and she opened it clearly having cried recent.

“Oh Aziraphale now is not the best time if you need help with the Hotel you can ask Vaggie-”

“Actually I was wondering if you could use a friend. May I come in?” Charlie lets Aziraphale into the room and breaks down.

“I was so mean to her! And we couldn’t get Carmilla to stop helping Vox! And why is it so easy to help others through their emotions but going through your own is so hard!”

“Charlie my dear this is normal. Me and Crowley have gone through our fair share of trouble.”

“Did the two of you ever have to face a war that could threaten to wipe out thousands?” Charlie wasn’t meaning to sound bitter but she was.

“Oh you have no idea. Took everything we had to make sure billions didn’t die. Went through all that just to almost loose each other.”

“Really?” Charlie had heard some about Aziraphale and Crowleys relationship but she had never gotten the full details about where he was from. She felt it was rude to ask and questioning the whole multiverse thing felt to existential when they had threats in their own front lawn.

“Oh yes. It was quite the spectacle. But stressful situations test relationships and they tend to come out the other end stronger for it.”

“I know and we’ve faced heaven before but what side would we even be on if there was a full out war because of Hell? And while I don’t appreciate Vaggie going behind my back arguing with her isn’t helping.”

“I find that now when me and Crowley have a disagreement that I remember all the reasons why I love him so dearly. Its easy to get caught up in the moment and forget the person and focus on the issue.”

“Hmm. Well…”

Deadpool here time for you to play the song her by Jvke which is a really odd way to spell Jake. Specifically the one featuring Annika Wells and not the other one.

(Hold me close) look me dead in my eyes⭐
(Dead in my) 'til the day that I die⭐
(Dead inside) I just wanna feel alive⭐
(With you, I'm alive) with you, I'm alive⭐
Fell in love but it left me lonely⭐
Tried to trust, but it burned me slowly⭐
I didn't know what I was lookin' for⭐
'Til I found her⭐
I found her⭐
(Without her) I'm a mess⭐
There was nothing about that love that made sense⭐
I was stressed⭐
'Til I found her (oh, oh, oh)⭐
I've run for many miles⭐
Trying to find love from a woman that could love me⭐
And never leave my side⭐
And I've run for many miles⭐
Trying to get away from the things I'm afraid of⭐
And everything inside⭐
You say that we're already done (done)⭐
But what does that even mean?⭐
You tell me to open my eyes⭐
Thank God it was just a dream⭐
I guess that's how you know that it's love⭐
When you're scared to death, they'll leave⭐
Just say that you'll never leave, never leave⭐
(Baby, hold me close) look me dead in my eyes⭐
(Dead in my) 'til the day that I die⭐
(Dead inside) I just wanna feel alive⭐
(With you, I'm alive) with you, I'm a-⭐
Fell in love but it left me lonely⭐
Tried to trust, but it burned me slowly⭐
I didn't know what I was looking for⭐
'Til I found her⭐
I found her⭐
(Without her) I'm a mess⭐
There was nothing about that love that made sense⭐
I was stressed⭐
'Til I found her (oh, oh)⭐
(And without her) I'm a mess⭐
There was nothing about that love that made sense⭐
I was stressed⭐
'Til I found her (oh, oh)⭐
'Til I found her⭐
Ooh-ooh-ooh⭐

Aziraphale clapped when Charlie finished singing. “I think you should tell her or sing her exactly that.”

“Yeah I think you’re right. Thanks for the advice.” Charlie smiled she was so lucky to have such good friends.

“Anytime.”

And as always Charlie and Vaggie have sorted out there “lesbian drama” again. Yay for love am I right? And me and Wolvie are totally planning our honeymoon. Or at least I am cause he left it to me. I mean he said “We’re not even married why the fuck would I go on a honeymoon with you.” whcih I just took to mean that it was my job to plan it. Oh what the author didn’t mention Husk and Angels relationship progression that much in this chapter? He has nothing to add that the show doesn’t show itself! Anyways he also doesn’t have anything more to add to this chapter which is why he left it up to me so buh bye! Go touch grass or refuse to see natural sunlight for days. I’m not your parent.

Chapter Text

Things had started off relatively normal in heaven. In fact today was more tolerable than usual by Lutes standards. While she had to interact with Abel, Viktor's presence was simply enough to keep her more polite than usual. In fact if it wasn’t for Abel's presence she would probably be cuddling him most of the time because he gets anxious and she likes holding him. But he seemed to be okay just being near her so for now it would have to do. Perhaps later she’d take him out for boba and-

All of heaven shook and the tint of gold that was seen outside the window began to disappear. The barrier Sera had put up was being destroyed? Then on every TV in Heaven a broadcast began to play.

“Hey there Heaven. Its about time we had a little chat. As you can see we’ve been a bit busy down here since your last visit. You know we’ve been hearing for so long about how the grass is greener on your side of the fence that we thought maybe we should come over and see for ourselves! And heck if we like it enough we might just decide to stay! Now you might have some silly ideas about fighting us off” Lute gritted her teeth and balled her hands into fists at those words “but don’t forget, there are a lot more of us then there are of you. So guess what Seraphim you have 24 hours to surrender the kingdom of heaven to me or you’ll have a front row seat to the next extermination.”

The Seraphim had refused to do anything about the threat for so long it was now at their front door. Finally now they had to listen to her! Was it bad she felt vindicated for being proved right? Phantom Adam added to the what was now chaos to be heard.

“Fuck yeah! Time to deal out some divine judgement!”

Lute was ready to fly off and meet with the Seraphim as Abel clearly had already gotten a head start until she looked to Viktor. His helmet may have been on but she could tell he was distressed. He stared outside and seemed frozen in place except for the rise and fall of his chest as he started to breathe faster and heavier. A panic attack. She went to him and quickly removed his helmet.

“Hey hey its okay its okay.” She pressed her forehead against his and cupped his face. “Heaven will deal with this- We will deal with this. We’re so close to everything we wanted and I know its a lot and its overwhelming but we have each other.” Viktor took some deep breaths feeling better.

“Yeah I just. I remembered what it was like to have everything you care about be threatened and I can’t. I already lost her and I can’t do that again.”

“You know I know the feeling to. But you and I both knew that Hell wouldn’t sit around forever. We expected this and we will protect what we must so we can be safe.”

“You’re right. Okay I’m ready. Lets go talk to the Seraphim!” Viktor now had a far more determined expression and Lute smiled at that. Both Lute and Viktor put on their exorcists helmets and flew to the meeting area.

Once there Lute flew near to where Emily and Abel were already talking with Sera to join in on the conversation while Viktor waited nearby.

“You need to give the order Sera.” Lute was direct with her demand

“Sera you have to let me talk to to charlie-” Emily was still trying to argue for peace.

“It’s time for our troops to go down there and wipe them all out-” Lute clearly had no intention of supporting Emilies idea.

“Oh my stars this is so beyond my paygrade.” Abel looked overwhelmed but not nearly as overwhelmed as Sera was beginning to look.

“-Leave no soul standing in all of hell-”

“-How do you expect me to handle an actual apocalypse? I haven’t been trained-”

“-its not right! Lute you can’t be serious!-”

“-The threat Adam warned you about is greater than ever! And we have a duty to the people of Heaven! You need to make this decision now!”

“-We need to appeal to their better selves-”

The arguing and overlapping voices was to much and Sera couldn’t do it anymore.

“Enough!” She said with a burst of holy light. “I. I must pray on this.” Then Sera flew off into another room.

“You’re infecting your sister with your weakness. The answer here is clear.” Lute was hoping people would finally listen to her but even with Hell at their front door Emily still wanted to try for peace.

“How can you even say that? This is Heaven! We need to be the good guys.”

“You know what I think you both make some good points.” Abel the people pleaser.

“No she doesn’t!” Both Emily and Lute were very adamant that neither made a good point. At this point Viktor decided to join in because clearly the Seraphim weren’t taking this seriously.

“How can you argue that we need to be the better people after what they did to us? After what they still do to us? What will speaking to Charlie even do if Hell has already declared war?”

“Vadam I must point out that you are extremely biased in this argument. How can you be objective when you have taken part in so many exterminations?”

“You don’t even-” Viktor wasn’t even sure what he was going to say or possibly reveal but Lute held up her hand.

“Vadam please go sit.”

“Yes sir.” Viktor knew that if Lute was telling him to sit back down that he wasn’t able to help in this situation.

The arguing continued for a bit until finally everyone sat down and waited for Seras return.

“I have made my choice.” Sera returned with sir Pentious in tow? When did he follow her? “Lute.”

“Yes Seraphim?” Lute jumped to her feet in excitement.

“We have less than a day before the forces of Hell attack. I have no choice. Prepare the troops.”

“It would be my pleasure.” Lute flew ready to prepared for war with Viktor flying after her.

“Sera please no!” Emily continued to plead her case.

“And tell them to stand by.” This caused Lute to halt. Did Sera just say “stand by”?

“Emily you will have the remainder of our time to try and resolve things peacefully.”

“Really?” Emily was practically beaming.

“What?” Lute was baffled at how the Seraphim had finally come so close to the solution just to not enact on it. Sera then gave a short speech to Emily about going down to hell and trying to make things work. Lute balled up her fists in anger. But now was time to at least prepare the troops for when inevitably Sera would realize this was a mistake and finally make the right choice.

Lute and Abel but mostly Lute prepared the troops. She had them practicing far more than usual and in full battle uniform. Right now she was training with Viktor.

“You keep leaving yourself open.” Lute launched another attack that Viktor could only barely deflect.

“Because your attacks are so reckless! They have guns Lute you need to be more defensive!” Viktor attacked and Lute dodged but not with much wiggle room.

“We need to be aggressive! If we let our guard down or wait for them to hit us first it will mean death!” Lutes next attack broke through Viktors defensive and her sword was now at his throat but only for a moment. “But you are right. I just want to make sure you can hold your own if you have to and that I can be strong enough to protect the both of us.” Lute dropped her sword and walked up to Viktor wrapping him in an embrace.

“You have always been good enough Lute.” Lute patted Viktor on the head.

“You should rest.”

“What? But we only have less than 24 hours until-”

“And it will do you no good to not sleep at all during those 24 hours.” Lute had a point.

“What about you?”

“Exorcists are made for this sort of thing.”

“But we always sleep near each other.” Viktor was a bit clingy but Lute was to.

“And if you need anything when you wake you know where to find me. I need to stay here and continue to train the others.”

“Alright and if you need me please wake me immediately.” Lute pulled away from the hug.

“You know I will. Now go get rest.”

“Yes Sir.” Viktor flew off to go rest while Lute remained.

“You haven’t forgotten your main objective have you?” Phantom Adam didn’t seem pleased.

“Of course not. Thats why I am here training the troops."

“Yeah but can you really be happy after what they did to me? You never even got to know how I felt and now you’re just gushing over the new guy?” Phantom Adam had been so supportive before why was he not anymore?

“I thought you wanted me to be with him.”

“I just want you to remember what is most important to you.”

As Lute continued to train with the other exorcists those words remained in her head. Did she care more about Viktor then about Adams legacy? She didn’t know and she hoped she wouldn’t have to find out.